u/ruminatingpoet

I stare at the ceiling - counting the cracks.

I stare at your photo - touching your face.

I stare at your smile - the dimples it causes.

I stare at your hair - the darkness I want to be engulfed with.

I stare at your eyes - searching for a reflection of me.

I stare into oblivion - with a heavy sigh.

I stare at the setting sun - counting the days since we watched the last one.

I stare at the moon - thinking about you.

Wishing you'd stare at me at least once - I pretend you do

I stare at the ceiling - counting the cracks.

I stare at your photo - touching your face.

I stare at your smile - the dimples it causes.

I stare at your hair - the darkness I want to be engulfed with.

I stare at your eyes - searching for a reflection of me.

I stare into oblivion - with a heavy sigh.

I stare at the setting sun - counting the days since we watched the last one.

I stare at the moon - thinking about you.

Wishing you'd stare at me at least once - I pretend you do

I stare at the ceiling - counting the cracks.

I stare at your photo - touching your face.

I stare at your smile - the dimples it causes.

I stare at your hair - the darkness I want to be engulfed with.

I stare at your eyes - searching for a reflection of me.

I stare into oblivion - with a heavy sigh.

I stare at the setting sun - counting the days since we watched the last one.

I stare at the moon - thinking about you.

Wishing you'd stare at me at least once - I pretend you do

​

I stare at the ceiling - counting the cracks.

I stare at your photo - touching your face.

I stare at your smile - the dimples it causes.

I stare at your hair - the darkness I want to be engulfed with.

I stare at your eyes - searching for a reflection of me.

I stare into oblivion - with a heavy sigh.

I stare at the setting sun - counting the days since we watched the last one.

I stare at the moon - thinking about you.

Wishing you'd stare at me at least once - I pretend you do

​

I stare at the ceiling - counting the cracks.

I stare at your photo - touching your face.

I stare at your smile - the dimples it causes.

I stare at your hair - the darkness I want to be engulfed with.

I stare at your eyes - searching for a reflection of me.

I stare into oblivion - with a heavy sigh.

I stare at the setting sun - counting the days since we watched the last one.

I stare at the moon - thinking about you.

Wishing you'd stare at me at least once - I pretend you do

I m in my mid 30s which we all know is the "do or die" stage for marriage in India.

Today, I finally snapped. I told my family clearly and loudly that I am never getting married.

I m closeted, so I cant explain the real reason that I love women and a traditional marriage aint happening for me.

My parents are kind people, and that makes it so much harder.

I m struggling with this crushing guilt that I’ll never give them a son in law or grandkids. I feel like they deserved a better daughter who could make them happy.

How do those of you in the community (or those who chose an unmarried life) deal with the feeling that you have letdown your parents?

how do I stop feeling like I m depriving them of happiness just by being myself?