u/nothingneue

my ex (m24) broke up with me (f26) after 6 years of being together

he recently moved countries to pursue a masters degree to make his dreams come true & i was (& still am) incredibly supportive of this move. i knew long-distance was going to suck but I want to be with him.

just before he left, we were even talking about what our future would look like - we’d past by jewellery stores & he’d ask for my opinion on what ring i like best

its been 1 month since we did long distance & i went to visit him recently. weeks leading up to our reunion i was feeling incredibly anxious, as just the week before I had opened up about feeling isolated & lonely (my love languages are quality time, & he was have a particularly busy week & acting more distant than usual)

he said he’d like to tell me something when i came to visit, & i had thought it would be something related to our LDR arrangement. Instead he opened up about how scared he was doing long distance & that maybe we shouldn’t try anymore.

& i was very confused- because its not unsolvable, I offered to move to where he lives, get a working holiday visa or even find a longterm job there. I was ready to find ways to compromise & solutions to make things better. But its hard to have a conversation with someone who already made up his mind.

i spent weeks trying to rationalise why breaking up was the better solution. he told me it would be better for us, i asked if he had found someone else & he assured me it was nothing like that. he was just scared of hurting me again & stringing me along.

I’m now back in my home country & I keep replaying the things hes said - like how I should move on & that this is better for both of us.

But we’ve been together for 6 years & have gone through so much together. My mind cannot process the reason why he wanted to end things. We both love each other deeply, we were just talking about getting married and a month later… that’s it?

I’m feeling very lost, angry & confused. He was my first serious relationship. & I feel like I’ve been left hanging, I’m not sure how to move forward…

i F26 & my bf (M24) broke up after 1 month of ldr

we were together in person for almost 6 years and he recently flew away to pursue his masters in a different country

i recently flew to where he is with some friends to visit him & visit our other friends in the country - weeks leading up to the visit, things felt a bit off. i had opened up feeling a little abandoned & hoping we had regular time together & since then i felt him distancing himself

i thought seeing each other in person would make things better, alas he decided to call things off - without even expressing what he was feeling beforehand

i knew long distance was going to be hard, i knew i had to over communicate to prevent resentment & so we know how to show up for each other

its just a pity that me opening about my feelings once has lead to a spiral of “maybe we shouldn’t try anymore”

we still love each other deeply, but he says he thinks he’ll end up resenting me or can’t give me any more time because he wants to focus on building his career & i would be in the way of that

but i also feel like this isn’t “unsolvable”, but he had already made up his mind & i feel really lost & confused