u/nostalcherie

Salam, there’s a brother (28M) that I (28F) had been talking to for almost a year now. Family’s were involved almost immediately, everyone seemingly got along, and things were going great (at least what I thought). We talked everyday, had so much in common it was unbelievable, so naturally I developed strong feelings for this person.

He took me wedding ring shopping a few times and in our final appointment we got into an argument because I brought up the nikkah timeline as it’s a topic that originally we wanted to get married in the summer, but then he started bringing up reasons to avoid discussing it including work stress, grad school stress, etc. I decided to bring up the topic this day asking if getting married in the summer was still possible. He said no because in July his mom teaches summer school and then his sister is due to give birth in August. I said okay that’s fine, it didn’t really make sense to me especially with the summer school excuse because school is all year round so at what point would we actually get married? He was silent and then we both went home, and then he calls me and tries to call off everything and I refused. He then said he needs space so I gave it to him for 5 days. In between this I called his mom for clarity as to what’s going on and she said he probably just needs space and to give it a few days.

Upon the 5th day I called him and he once again tells me he doesn’t think this will work. I am shocked and ask why, and he said that I said we are incompatible (which I never said). During the initial discussion I simply asked him if our timelines were incompatible, but he seemingly took this the wrong way and also accused me of trying to leave him. I was adamant that this wasn’t the case and told him I would never say that, but I couldn’t change his mind and he wouldn’t give me the benefit of the doubt.

I couldn’t believe it so I asked him if there was any other reason and then he said after our initial argument the day we went ring shopping he said he stopped loving me. I clarified and asked if he stopped loving me after that one argument and he said yes. I begged and pleaded to no avail and eventually he ended hanging up and immediately blocked me everywhere.

I am incredibly hurt and confused. A person who once promised me he would never leave, left over what I think was a simple misunderstanding. Almost as if he was intentionally misunderstanding me? We rarely got into arguments, and if we did he was very understanding and open to change. This maybe happened only 1 or 2 times.

I remember early one when I met his mom she told me to contact her if I had any issues with him. At this point wondering if it’s still worth it to reach out? I miss him dearly.

Salam, there’s a brother (28M) that I (28F) had been talking to for almost a year now. Family’s were involved almost immediately, everyone seemingly got along, and things were going great (at least what I thought). We talked everyday, had so much in common it was unbelievable, so naturally I developed strong feelings for this person.

He took me wedding ring shopping a few times and in our final appointment we got into an argument because I brought up the nikkah timeline as it’s a topic that originally we wanted to get married in the summer, but then he started bringing up reasons to avoid discussing it including work stress, grad school stress, etc. I decided to bring up the topic this day asking if getting married in the summer was still possible. He said no because in July his mom teaches summer school and then his sister is due to give birth in August. I said okay that’s fine, it didn’t really make sense to me especially with the summer school excuse because school is all year round so at what point would we actually get married? He was silent and then we both went home, and then he calls me and tries to call off everything and I refused. He then said he needs space so I gave it to him for 5 days. In between this I called his mom for clarity as to what’s going on and she said he probably just needs space and to give it a few days.

Upon the 5th day I called him and he once again tells me he doesn’t think this will work. I am shocked and ask why, and he said that I said we are incompatible (which I never said). During the initial discussion I simply asked him if our timelines were incompatible, but he seemingly took this the wrong way and also accused me of trying to leave him. I was adamant that this wasn’t the case and told him I would never say that, but I couldn’t change his mind and he wouldn’t give me the benefit of the doubt.

I couldn’t believe it so I asked him if there was any other reason and then he said after our initial argument the day we went ring shopping he said he stopped loving me. I clarified and asked if he stopped loving me after that one argument and he said yes. I begged and pleaded to no avail and eventually he ended hanging up and immediately blocked me everywhere.

I am incredibly hurt and confused. A person who once promised me he would never leave, left over what I think was a simple misunderstanding. Almost as if he was intentionally misunderstanding me? We rarely got into arguments, and if we did he was very understanding and open to change. This maybe happened only 1 or 2 times.

I remember early one when I met his mom she told me to contact her if I had any issues with him. At this point wondering if it’s still worth it to reach out? I miss him dearly.