u/myviewfromoutside

i'm a woman in my late 20s and i've been single + celibate since 2022. it feels like all the "good" guys that are dateable or have emotional intelligence are taken. i've approached some dudes who later returned advances but then found out they already had GFs - WTF. how do i approach men when it seems like every semi attractive or dateable men are taken? it's so different than early 20s where most people were single, i feel so behind now

i'm a woman in my late 20s and i've been single + celibate since 2022. it feels like all the "good" guys that are dateable or have emotional intelligence are taken. i've approached some dudes who later returned advances but then found out they were taken - WTF. how do i approach men when it seems like every semi attractive or dateable men are taken? it's so different than early 20s where most people were single, i feel so behind now

Entering my late 20s here. I find that by late 20s, people's core circles have solidified and the compartmentalization of groups/relationships is used to keep outsiders who "threaten" the cohesion of those circles at arm's length. You aren't finding those early 20s bonds in your 30s sadly. Some of us missed the boat.

I've generally been the one putting in the effort and when I stop the person dissolves into thin air. I'm the side friend and I get along with everyone, but never integrated in groups and never passing through the "compartmentalized" friend groups of others. I've stopped doing this and essentially have been a loner for years now due to chronic health issues, 26F and no group chats for me. There's a certain musical chairs to social integration in your teen / early 20s years and if you're the floater friend you're at risk for missing those boats completely, it follows you into adulthood (and others can pick up on it subconsciously). I've been battling multiple autoimmune diseases and all alone in the fight. My phone is completely empty. It's beyond lonely.

I've done all the things they say to do - therapy, dating yourself, hobbies, I've traveled to 20 countries alone and met incredible people before i got sick, connected with people in different languages even. I would consider myself an interesting person, and I care about others. None of this inner work and self development has resulted in a fulfilling social life or reciprocal friendships I've so craved, and I can't get those early years and early 20s back. I will always have to live with that lack from those years. My ex boyfriend (and I think men in general) picked up on the fact that I'm not included in groups of women (they are attuned to this) and he said "stop wanting friends. Accept being alone. At least you have your dog." Meanwhile he would hangout with our mutual coworkers excluding me. Men read into a woman's social capital too, and they factor it in with how they regard you. I've been there for old "friends" surgeries, pregnancies, I even helped one of my childhood friends get into colleges etc etc. I still feel sadness recalling being invited out with my old bartending coworkers at age 23 and then after getting ready, spending hours on makeup, they disinvited me last minute overtly and then all went out. together without me. I sat home and cried. I'll literally never forget it.

I've always wished for a friend like me, and never found one. I know I'm a good friend.

I am now chronically ill with multiple autoimmune diseases, lyme disease and a scarring permanent hair loss condition as a young woman which has further separated me from my peer age group.

And yes, I’ve been to years of therapy

i am so lonely and have not one single friend

Hello,

I'm tired of the watery Keurig pods and the taste of plastic. I used to be a barista so I have a knack for coffee / espresso but have never found a machine that produced satisfactory shots. I am looking to hear from owner of VertuoPlus Deluxe and how they are enjoying (or not) their machine (or not). Is it worth the purchase? It's currently on sale at Williams Sonoma, but I know Vertuo pods are more expensive than K.

Thank you.

anyone find these ticket prices insanely expensive for how recently popular he is??

i know most people consider having no friends a red flag, and i'm not here to argue that it's a good thing to have no friends. It makes it harder to gauge somebody's character, and there are less reference points to rely on. It really aches my soul that I'm in this position, and for this reason I hope to find a new family one day, hopefully with a life partner.

i'm looking to hear from men who have experience with dating women who have minimal friends/family and how you would advise a girl in my position to go about dating and discussing it with men. Unfortunately, most of my contacts faded due to chronic illness / health struggles the past few years in my mid-20s and I have no close family except my father due to being the eldest child black sheep my entire childhood in a divorced family.

kind / on-topic replies only please. Thank you.

i know most people consider having no friends a red flag, and i'm not here to argue that it's a good thing to have no friends. It makes it harder to gauge somebody's character, and there are less reference points to rely on. It really aches my soul that I'm in this position, and for this reason I hope to find a new family one day, hopefully with a life partner.

i'm looking to hear from people who have experience with dating with minimal friends/family and how you would advise a girl in my position to go about dating and discussing it with men. Unfortunately, most of my contacts faded due to chronic illness / health struggles the past few years in my mid-20s and I have no close family except my father due to being the eldest child black sheep my entire childhood in a divorced family.

kind / on-topic replies only please. Thank you.

people slowly stopped inviting me out when i became ill a few years ago, now i have no friends in my mid20s. no group chats in years. nobody to even send memes to. my phone is literally empty. yes i have developed more hobbies but they are isolating, and my core personality / interests revolved around community activities. i feel chest pains from how lonely i am.

it’s really upsetting as a young woman suffering my health to see people my age getting engaged, married, traveling etc on social media so i deleted social media. have now developed a fear of being seen in my hometown and agoraphobia.

online support groups for one of my main diseases aren't helpful because it's mostly older age groups, not young people. it's so depressing and i feel so isolated from my peers.