u/mynormalheart

So me and my boyfriend are part of a friend group. I’m newer, but did not join the group in the context of being his girlfriend. He’s closer to a lot of them than I am but I still thought we were all friends.

One of the people in the group is getting married. Out of about 8 of us, I’m the only one who didn’t get invited. At the time invites went out, the group didn’t know we were dating. There aren’t any plus ones either so I can’t even tag along as my BF’s date.

I can tell it makes my boyfriend uncomfortable; he is very conflict avoidant and likes social harmony so this is really throwing him for a loop. While I do understand I am not the closest with the person getting married, to be the only one not invited to the wedding stings pretty badly and is embarrassing. It’s a huge wedding. Especially since it’s tough to distance myself like I normally would since my BF is part of the group.

Anyways, I don’t know what to do. I feel like it’s selfish to ask my BF to skip but it also really hurts and will hurt if he goes. He hasn’t brought it up (conflict avoidant as I said) and I don’t know what to say but I feel like it will be an issue for me if we don’t discuss it.

*edit* some people seem confused but I did not join this group as my BFs girlfriend and knew the bride well before she got engaged. I’ve known these people a couple years now.

I know he works crazy hours and I have a more 9-5-type job. Yes, objectively I work fewer hours. But I still work extremely hard and have worked incredibly shitty jobs in the past where I pulled this 80+ hour weeks making less than he does.

Not to mention the amount I do to accommodate his schedule, make his life easier, and try to ease his stress. It was incredibly hurtful and invalidating to hear. I come from a really low income background and had to overcome a lot to get to where I am and he was more to much more comfortable and privilege. I worked my ass off to get to here and it killed me that this is how he feels and that he’d say it to my face.