u/motherofpearl89

I'm suspected ND and throughout my life I've had moments with other women where I've just been rejected outright and I have no idea why. Or, I've had long standing friends who just stop talking to me and I don't know why. Its happened at work recently where previous close colleagues are suddenly cold and I have no idea why and they tell me nothing is different.

It's gotten to the point where I'm afraid to talk to anyone as I'm so worried about coming across the right way so I just isolate myself. I try to be a good person and I think I'm kind but it never seems to be enough. I got bullied a lot at school and people thought I was a snob because I didn't talk much but I was just quiet and had no idea what to say. I've tried going to clubs and meet ups but got labelled pretty quickly in the same way and got invited places but didn't feel particularly wanted or listened to.

I don't have many close friends these days and I'm realising just how lonely I am. The few acquaintances I do are far away and don't really know me. I also have a couple of ND friends but they struggle much more than me and aren't really available much.

I'm suspected ND and throughout my life I've had moments with other women where I've just been rejected outright and I have no idea why. Or, I've had long standing friends who just stop talking to me and I don't know why. Its happened at work recently where previous close colleagues are suddenly cold and I have no idea why and they tell me nothing is different.

It's gotten to the point where I'm afraid to talk to anyone as I'm so worried about coming across the right way so I just isolate myself. I try to be a good person and I think I'm kind but it never seems to be enough. I got bullied a lot at school and people thought I was a snob because I didn't talk much but I was just quiet and had no idea what to say. I've tried going to clubs and meet ups but got labelled pretty quickly in the same way and got invited places but didn't feel particularly wanted or listened to.

I don't have many close friends these days and I'm realising just how lonely I am. The few acquaintances I do are far away and don't really know me. I also have a couple of ND friends but they struggle much more than me and aren't really available much.

Any advice would be really appreciated.

I went to a gig yesterday and everyone was dressed up and looked incredible. There was a lot of love in the room for the 'weirdos' the ones who feel out of place but I don't feel cool enough for them either. I'm not loud and quirky, I'm quiet, awkward and quirky. I'm the definition of average.

Just made me a little sad to be in such an accepting space but still feel like an outlier.

It reminds me of growing up during beauty campaigns celebrating uniqueness but the people used were still beautiful.

I'm not accepted by the cool normie kids and the cool ND kids are so artistic, carefree and vibrant. I feel like a potato.

Absolutely incredible show and was hoping to grab a t shirt but the card machine broke and the seller got really angry with the last few people waiting.

I'm happy to PayPal etc.

I'm going on my own and had some really awful experiences at gig recently with pushy or aggressive audience members.

I'm hoping it'll be fairly chill but it's sold out so who knows!

My friend can no longer make it so want to make sure it goes to a good home! :)

https://secure.ticketmaster.co.uk/rs/1F006459DB9D6F3D/l1m659wft

The lack of empathy, the lies and the easy buy in to a charlatans con mans tricks is making me so sad and frustrated.

It's people I know and get on with, and I know no amount of reasoning will change anything because that's what people do. They'll also flip the script and make me out to be the bad person for questioning their choices. There's nothing I can do to stop it.

I'm just weary today, it feels like the poison and anger is running through my veins and slowly destroying my heart and will from the inside out. They'll read what I've written above and won't find sympathy, just ridicule how sensitive I am.

Any tips for finding positivity and light in this mess appreciated.

I'm just gonna turn my phone off for now.

I had to find a good picture of myself for a blog and god it was painful looking at myself

I then had a video call as I'm in a LDR and all I could do was look at the little picture of me and pick it apart.

I'm revolting and worthless.

I need to be productive and apply for jobs but I'm not good at anything.

Fucking hate everything about me and I know it'll pass but that doesn't help right now.

2 weeks to go!