u/lilelbows

My GMIL means well. This isn’t the same one I’ve posted about in the past but holy shit my baby shower is a fucking problem for everyone apparently.

I had one amazing, exactly how I want it baby shower planned. But apparently there is so much drama between my husbands family members that I now have three, threatening to be four baby showers.

And the latest one to be planned for me just happens to be ON MY BIRTHDAY. Oh and it’s a joint baby shower for one of my husbands cousins.

For fuck sake.

I told them I already have birthday plans and the guilt tripping of people already bought plane tickets starts. Why would they buy plane tickets for a baby shower without first checking if I’m even available? Because it lines up with a family vacation that they already planned.

I just want to go to my birthday party that I already have planned.

I told them I would need to run it by the group of friends I have birthday plans with to see if my birthday plans can be changed to accommodate another baby shower that I don’t want.

I’m so frustrated. Like I get that it’s very nice that they want to do this for me, but only when it lives up with their vacation, and their vacation lands on my birthday because they forgot about my birthday, and they don’t want to come to my baby shower because of the same reason they missed my wedding party - pointless, and I mean POINTLESS, family drama.

Her birthday was last month. She kept cancelling plans and pushing the date to be later. My husband just got home early when he was supposed to go celebrate her birthday with her this evening, and her birthday party has now been pushed to Mother’s Day.

My husband likely has no idea that Sunday is Mother’s Day.

I’m not a mom, yet, technically. I’m very pregnant. I don’t expect to be celebrated for Mother’s Day this year but somehow this feels like a manipulative dig. I never stop him from seeing her - if anything I support it so she stops blaming me for never seeing him. I can just tell she did this very much on purpose.

I’ll spend Mother’s Day with my bump, not a care in the world.

My husband is super outdoorsy, but has every hiking/backpacking item I can think of.

He’s a musician, but also has everything - think full at home recording studio, lots of instruments. Even weird ones.

He’s into finance, and technology, but he buys himself everything he needs for that.

He has too many clothes - it would be a gift for me to get rid of some at this point.

We’re also months away from having our first baby!

We just moved and he’s getting really into fixing up our first ever yard/garden.

There are a couple things he wants - Lego sets (I’ve got those sorted out already) and an office chair (I don’t know which one to get, please let me know if you have suggestions)

I’d say my budget is around $400

I’m just at a loss. I want to get him something thoughtful but between work and pregnancy and moving I am just not on it this year.

Any ideas would be greatly appreciated! Thank you!!

Being pregnant seems like everyone has decided I NEED to hear their opinion. I am sick of people telling me what stroller to buy, what car seat to buy, why I shouldn’t buy clothes from the baby boutique that I already bought clothes from. Why I shouldn’t have bought a crib or anything for my baby so that they can buy things for my baby.

I’ve already been shamed about the things I bought being wrong - because this other brand has great safety ratings, because I heard there was an issue with a similar product six years ago, because it’s so expensive, because I wanted to buy it for you.

I want to buy clothes for my own baby. I want furniture that matches my other furniture. I want a car seat that has a special function that helps with my physical disability. Let me buy things myself! Shut up!

Can’t people just say congrats, and buy something off the registry and move on?

Oh and since I’m ranting, I don’t understand why when I’m sick, other women decide to tell me that they were never sick? Okay, good for you? I’m just going to throw up over here, and take my nausea meds - you can leave me alone.

And people telling me to sit down all the time? I know where the chairs are, I’m standing for a reason.

Anyone else getting bombarded with advice you didn’t ask for? At this point I think I won’t tell anyone I’m pregnant next time.

I was going to have a nacho bar. My husband’s grandmother, who first tried to throw me a separate baby shower and long story short now isn’t - turned her nose up and told me her son will barbecue for my baby shower instead.

I don’t want a barbecue. I want nachos.

If I can’t have nachos for some reason I’m going to just do something else.

I’m pregnant and vegan and don’t want my baby shower smelling like meat. I don’t care that other people eat meat. I’ll buy meat tacos instead or something. I don’t want to sit in meat smoke during my baby shower.

This is about my GMIL - hope that’s okay. Just need to vent.

We already have a baby shower planned going into getting pregnant. Now the baby shower is months away, we’re sending out the invites this weekend.

GMIL wants to throw me a separate baby shower because of family drama. Fine. She asks my MIL if she wants to help plan it and MIL hates GMIL so she takes over the baby shower and refuses to talk to her moving forward. I have no relationship with MIL. I hate MIL. So now I have my baby shower and one being thrown by this horrible woman.

I talk to GMIL last night and tell her she’s invited to come to my baby shower since she isn’t throwing the baby shower she wants. She asks about the food - I say we’re going to have a nacho bar.

A nacho bar is awesome! It’s a co-ed baby shower with lots of men drinking beer. Everyone likes nachos - at least I thought so.

She says she’ll have her son barbecue instead. I said paying for meat for 50 people is expensive. On top of that my husband and I are vegan. We don’t care that other people eat meat at all but when we are paying for things, hosting things, when it’s our event, we arent making food that we can eat.

I’m just mad. I just want to throw my own baby shower. I know that’s not normal, but there’s so much drama in my in laws family that no one is going to host it. My family live across the country. We literally didn’t get to have a real wedding because of this and it feels like they’re trying to take away my baby shower too.

I’m not paying for food if they don’t want to eat what I want.

Please tell me nachos are cool. I don’t see the problem with nachos.