u/levashin

My orthodontist + oral surgeon are aiming for a surgery date towards the end of the year. This means 6-8 months of pre-surgical braces to decompensate. I have Class 1 malocclusion with some crowding on my lower teeth. I already had braces as a teenager, which was 15 years ago, though...

Does this timeline sound normal to you? Most things I read online mention longer pre-op timelines.

My health insurance runs out at the end of the year, so I'm worried about timing. I might have to go on COBRA to cover everything. Has anyone been in a similar situation with a shorter pre-surgical phase? Did you meet your target surgery date, or did they have to delay it because your teeth weren't decompensated enough?

I started noticing people sniffing around me, and now I'm trying to figure out whether it's my clothes or the way I'm washing them.

My routine is a little unusual, so I'm wondering if it's actually causing problems:

I run a "quick wash" (30 minutes) first with my clothes and a bit of baking soda in the drum, and I put about half a cup of vinegar in the fabric softener dispenser so it releases during the rinse. After that finishes, I run a second, normal wash (60 minutes) with unscented liquid detergent, and I add about a tablespoon of citric acid in the rinse dispenser.

I'm not sure if the combination of baking soda, vinegar, detergent, and citric acid is too much or if it could be leaving a weird smell.

It's a insecurity of mine to smell bad, so I wonder if it's my anxiety. I would appreciate any advice. Is this routine actually causing issues, or am I just being neurotic?

I'm a software engineer currently on a 30-day performance improvement plan (PIP) and trying to realistically assess whether I have enough leverage to negotiate some kind of mutual separation/severance rather than go through the full process.

A few things make me suspicious about the PIP. I submitted a medical accommodation request in September 2025. Exactly one week later, my manager (who is non-technical) paired me with a senior engineer for recurring mentorship/1-on-1 sessions. At the time, this was framed as developmental mentorship. Very quickly, however, this senior engineer's feedback became a major input into my performance evaluation and eventual PIP. Later, I found out that my manager deliberately sniffs out my weaknesses from this senior and used that to justify her PIP.

I'm also the only openly LGBTQ+ and POC member of my immediate team. I have noticed what feels like disproportionate scrutiny compared to other white teammates. For example, my PRs tend to receive significantly more comments, more granular criticism, and more coaching around communication style and "ownership". Some of the feedback has started feeling extremely subjective and nitpicky.

The PIP itself says that I have issues with communication, that I caused major production bugs, and with participation. However, I have evidence to show that other teammates (who are straight, white men) also have these issues but they aren't presented with a PIP.

The PIP itself also evolved after it started. After the plan already started, my manager clarified that the weekly goals are "cumulative", meaning that each week's expectations continue stacking onto the following weeks. In practice, this means that by week 4 I am expected to simultaneously maintain all prior weekly goals while also meeting new expectations being introduced later in the process.

I did consult an employment lawyer already, and the general answer was basically "this may be unfair, but not necessarily illegal". So I'm not asking whether I have a slam-dunk lawsuit.

My question is more practical: from an HR/risk-management perspective, does this sound like the kind of gray-area situation where companies sometimes prefer a negotiated mutual separation with severance? Or is this still likely viewed as a standard PIP with little leverage on my side? Can I leverage an EEOC complaint here?

I think I officially hit the point where I don't care anymore. I got put on a performance improvement plan out of nowhere after months of positive/neutral feedback and a merit salary raise. Now everything I say or do is suddenly wrong, even the way I ask questions.

Had a conversation today where I was told by my senior that I need to "think more" before asking things, which felt like nitpicking how I communicate. I tried to explain my perspective and it just went nowhere. I even told him that he sounded condescending and "tone policing". It feels like no matter what I do, it's already decided.

I also skipped a meeting later because honestly I'd rather spend that time applying for jobs than pretending this situation is fixable. I literally told that senior: "I'm sorry I missed the meeting, but I made the executive decision to apply for jobs instead of attending meetings where I'm not needed".

I have spent countless nights working to meet deadlines for this team. All I get in return is a 30 freaking day PIP. 30 days!!

I have a part time job to keep me steady until I find another full-time one. Fuck them.

I'm just tired.

Hi everyone, I just started braces to prepare for jaw surgery and I am trying to get a realistic sense of the timeline.

Right now I only have braces on my top teeth and I will have the bottom ones in a few days. I was a bit surprised because my bottom teeth are actually more crowded than my top, so I am still trying to understand the sequencing.

The "target" surgery date is December later this year, which is in 8 months, but I don't know how realistic that is. I have a follow-up with the oral surgeon in October to see how my teeth are moving.

For those of you who have already gone through this process, how long were you in braces before your surgery date? I am also curious if your timeline changed along the way or if it was pretty predictable from the start.

Would really appreciate hearing your experiences so I can set my expectations. Thanks!

My boss recently put me on a 30 day PIP. I believe it is due to me submitting a medical accommodation six months ago and she doesn't like it. I consulted a lawyer and he told me that what she is doing is completely legal and I have no recourse, even though my performance didn't drop, my boss told me I was doing good, and I even got a merit salary increase.

Since it's obvious they want me gone and I can do nothing about it, I want to force their hand for some severance. Can I deepfake my boss' voice saying something racist, then make a complaint to HR, then force their hand for some severance? I feel like if they can treat me maliciously, then i can also do the same. Will I face repercussions if they catch me? I'm not planning on giving them the audio. I will just play it in a meeting with HR and threaten to consult a lawyer for discrimination.

I have been a software engineer at my company for three years and was suddenly placed on a 30-day PIP, despite receiving a performance review which explicitly stated I was "meeting role expectations" and praised my communication as a strength.

This PIP appears to be a pretext for headcount reduction, as my manager revealed that the team must become "lean and mean" due to an organizational pivot toward AI and that previously approved hiring for the team has been rescinded.

The timing is particularly concerning because I submitted a formal ADA medical accommodation request six months ago, and only seven days after that, my manager started a mandatory "mentorship" pairing that she is now using as the primary evidence of my alleged technical "deficiencies".

I have documented evidence of disparate treatment, including peers who have caused significant production-level issues without facing a PIP, while I am being held to strict metrics in the PIP like zero bugs. I am being systematically excluded from the high-level design meetings necessary to gain the platform understanding the PIP says that I need to have.

My manager told me that she has raised these concerns before, but I have recorded and transcribed and taken notes of all our 1-on-1s since August 2025. Never did she bring up these issues.

Given the documented contradictions in my performance records, the immediate proximity of the PIP-related scrutiny to my ADA request, and the clear signs of a budget-driven staff reduction, how can I best leverage this evidence to negotiate a severance package and mutual separation instead of attempting to complete a 30-day plan that seems designed for failure?

Hi all, I'm trying to understand what to do. I'm shaken up and frankly very emotional right now.

I'm a mid-level software engineer and have generally felt like I was performing fine. In my 1:1s, I haven't received serious negative feedback or any indication I was at risk.

Over the past several months, I've been working closely with a senior engineer in a "mentorship" setup. During that time, PR feedback has become very nitpicky and detail-oriented. The comments are almost entirely stylistic or preference-based, not functional. My code works, but PRs often go through multiple rounds of small revisions. At the same time, this senior engineer has told me in 1:1s that I'm improving and that I'm doing well...

Recently, I was suddenly put on a 30 DAY PIP (!!!) with no prior formal warnings or specific examples. The PIP cites things like too many PR revisions, lack of independence, and escalating too early. It also includes strict metrics like limiting PR revisions, low estimate variance, and zero bugs. The lack of independence is because my manager has made the senior engineer available in a mentorship capacity to ask questions!

What concerns me is that PR feedback (which feels subjective and stylistic) is being used as a major performance signal, and it's largely driven by one reviewer's preferences.

The timing also feels a bit off. The increased scrutiny from the senior developer started after I put up a pride flag in my Slack profile picture last year, and later intensified after I submitted a medical accommodation. It was around that time after I submitted a medical accommodation that they discussed bringing a new developer onboard. It was also around this time that the "mentorship" started with the senior developer. Now months later, I'm on a PIP and I can't help that this is all related.

I'm trying to stay objective, but this feels sudden and WEIRD. Is this a normal PIP situation, or does this sound like a managed exit? And how would you handle being evaluated heavily on subjective PR feedback?