u/last0fus1

My dad has a lifelong history of alcoholism and drug abuse, rooted deeply in childhood neglect. Raised by addicts, he spent his youth with an aunt and uncle who also struggled with severe substance abuse. By the age of 15, they were actively encouraging him to drink and use drugs. My mom and dad met at 16, and they had me when they were 19. My mom always said he never knew when enough was enough, he would end up in a terrible state every single time he drank. Throughout his life, he has always struggled to be fully happy with anything, as if a sense of true contentment was always out of his reach. Their 15-year relationship was incredibly messy, marked by his constant cheating and belittling, which eventually led to a chaotic breakup when I was 12. I was constantly caught in the middle of their arguments and subjected to inappropriate details about each parent.

Following the split, my dad moved in with a new girlfriend and continued to drink heavily. Around this time, he was diagnosed with a serious heart condition that required monthly medical checkups. Doctors strictly warned him to cut out alcohol and smoking, and to adopt a healthier lifestyle, or face imminent heart failure. For a while, he succeeded. He began exercising, cut down on his vices, and started dating a woman who genuinely pushed him to be better for himself and his children. He got his own place, decorated it nicely, and things were stable. I saw him three times a week. Yet, even during this good period, he couldn't find lasting happiness or peace. It was only when the women he dated were completely over him and out of his reach that he would suddenly find positive things to say about them.

Everything fell apart two years ago when they broke up. Even though he often complained about her and acted like he didn't even like her while they were together, she had been deeply devoted to him. Once she left for good, his perspective shifted, and he began romanticising her as someone who was far too good for him. Left isolated, depressed, and angry, his life spiraled. He began smoking cannabis to manage his anxiety, but his drinking quickly escalated. Today, his car and bins are overflowing with empty cans. He is constantly sluggish, exhausted, and has lost a significant amount of weight. His fridge is almost empty because he rarely shops for food.

Alongside the addiction, he has developed a severe hoarding disorder. His bedroom, utility room, and wardrobes are packed with random electronics, bags, and clutter he refuses to throw away, claiming he "might use them one day." His bathroom is completely unusable, blocked by a rotting, two-year-old Christmas tree and broken musical equipment.

Alongside the addiction, he has developed a severe hoarding disorder. His bedroom, utility room, and wardrobes are packed with random electronics, bags, and clutter he refuses to throw away, claiming he "might use them one day." His bathroom is completely unusable, blocked by a rotting, two-year-old Christmas tree and broken musical equipment.

The environment has become untenable. My autistic sister now acts out and refuses to stay there, which stresses him further. Out of a desperate fear of being alone, he is seeing a woman he has no romantic interest in. He completely refuses therapy due to a single bad experience in the past. He recently mentioned suicide to my mom, but she refuses to take it seriously due to her lingering resentment toward him.

I hate seeing him like this. I am dealing with my own struggles and working hard on myself, and I try to share my own self improvement strategies with him in the hope that it inspires him. Meanwhile, he is actively ignoring terrifying heart palpitations. I am living in constant fear that he will either die of heart failure or take his own life.

My dad has a lifelong history of alcoholism and drug abuse, rooted deeply in childhood neglect. Raised by addicts, he spent his youth with an aunt and uncle who also struggled with severe substance abuse. By the age of 15, they were actively encouraging him to drink and use drugs. My mom and dad met at 16, and they had me when they were 19. My mom always said he never knew when enough was enough, he would end up in a terrible state every single time he drank. Throughout his life, he has always struggled to be fully happy with anything, as if a sense of true contentment was always out of his reach. Their 15-year relationship was incredibly messy, marked by his constant cheating and belittling, which eventually led to a chaotic breakup when I was 12. I was constantly caught in the middle of their arguments and subjected to inappropriate details about each parent.

Following the split, my dad moved in with a new girlfriend and continued to drink heavily. Around this time, he was diagnosed with a serious heart condition that required monthly medical checkups. Doctors strictly warned him to cut out alcohol and smoking, and to adopt a healthier lifestyle, or face imminent heart failure. For a while, he succeeded. He began exercising, cut down on his vices, and started dating a woman who genuinely pushed him to be better for himself and his children. He got his own place, decorated it nicely, and things were stable. I saw him three times a week. Yet, even during this good period, he couldn't find lasting happiness or peace. It was only when the women he dated were completely over him and out of his reach that he would suddenly find positive things to say about them.

Everything fell apart two years ago when they broke up. Even though he often complained about her and acted like he didn't even like her while they were together, she had been deeply devoted to him. Once she left for good, his perspective shifted, and he began romanticising her as someone who was far too good for him. Left isolated, depressed, and angry, his life spiraled. He began smoking cannabis to manage his anxiety, but his drinking quickly escalated. Today, his car and bins are overflowing with empty cans. He is constantly sluggish, exhausted, and has lost a significant amount of weight. His fridge is perpetually empty because he rarely shops for food.

Alongside the addiction, he has developed a severe hoarding disorder. His bedroom, utility room, and wardrobes are packed with random electronics, bags, and clutter he refuses to throw away, claiming he "might use them one day." His bathroom is completely unusable, blocked by a rotting, two-year-old Christmas tree and broken musical equipment.

The environment has become untenable. My autistic sister now acts out and refuses to stay there, which stresses him further. Out of a desperate fear of being alone, he is seeing a woman he has no romantic interest in. He completely refuses therapy due to a single bad experience in the past. He recently mentioned suicide to my mom, but she refuses to take it seriously due to her lingering resentment toward him.

I hate seeing him like this. I am dealing with my own struggles and working hard on myself, and I try to share my own self improvement strategies with him in the hope that it inspires him. Meanwhile, he is actively ignoring terrifying heart palpitations. I am living in constant fear that he will either die of heart failure or take his own life.