u/kristin137

I have a level 1 diagnosis. I am very able to live alone, have a job, be independent, most people don't have any idea I'm autistic unless I tell them. But I also just spent the weekend barely sleeping, having to take beta blockers for anxiety, crying all the time because I was too overstimulated on vacation. People think I'm rude or unapproachable a lot, I have huge problems making or keeping friends. All my bosses end up hating me. People get angry with me often online and sometimes in person because I'm blunt and honest.

I see many autistic people who might have higher support needs but easily can be themselves and make friends. I feel like I have severe social issues and pretty bad sensory sensitivities but because I can live by myself I'm supposed to be only low support needs. It makes me feel dramatic for ever bringing up my autism or god forbid asking for support.

Also because I seem so normal in some ways, whenever my disability actually affects me people take it personally. As if I'm doing it for attention. I see it all the time, someone knows I'm autistic nd pretends to be accepting but then when I have a moment where I struggle with something they get very offended and act like I'm being that way out of laziness or to spite them.

For example my previous supervisor went on and on about how her daughter is also autistic and she wanted to support me (which was problematic already because she was constantly probing about my autism), then ONE TIME I hesitated to talk to a visitor for a couple minutes and my supervisor called me into her office to berate me about how she can't even trust me to do my job. And then I ended up later having to leave that job because she kept weaponizing and blaming stuff on my autism but that's a whole other thing...

I feel like I'm always in between being a regular person who has an independent life and being too disabled to function as expected. Having to act like I'm fine or having to scream for anyone to know I need help. Even my therapist in our last session asked me if I think that someone else might think I'm using my autism as an excuse.

I told them I have autism, that I just had a panic attack in an airport a few days ago from the noise and heat, that travel and theme parks are really overwhelming for me in general, I explained the work accommodations I have which include reduced lighting, I said without the accommodation I would probably have a meltdown or be very uncomfortable. They brought in a healthcare professional and she decided I don't need DAS. Apparently they're looking for people with "more profound" issues.

She left the video chat, I broke down and cried asking the team member what I said that seems like I dont need it and he was just mildly awkward and annoyed saying they can tell me about other options like sensory rooms.

The only reason I even wanted to go to Disney World with my family was because I thought I would have DAS like I did last time in 2023 before it became like this. So I just told him I hope Disney fixes this and hung up. I feel like they made the experience humiliating to tell them all about my disability and how it affects me then told me it's not bad enough to deserve support. Feels very invalidating and almost cruel.

I told them I have autism, that I just had a panic attack in an airport a few days ago from the noise and heat, that travel and theme parks are really overwhelming for me in general, I explained the work accommodations I have which include reduced lighting, I said without the accommodation I would probably have a meltdown or be very uncomfortable. They brought in a healthcare professional and she decided I don't need DAS. Apparently they're looking for people with "more profound" issues.

She left the video chat, I broke down and cried asking the team member what I said that seems like I dont need it and he was just mildly awkward and annoyed saying they can tell me about other options like sensory rooms.

The only reason I even wanted to go to Disney World with my family was because I thought I would have DAS like I did last time in 2023 before it became like this. So I just told him I hope Disney fixes this and hung up. I'm still crying. I feel like they made the experience humiliating to tell them all about my disability and how it affects me then told me it's not bad enough to deserve support. Feels very invalidating and almost cruel.

P.S. I got so many nasty ableist comments on this same post on the Disney World subreddit I had to delete it. They are so disgusting over there being angry at a disabled person for wanting support for their disability. I swear most people think accommodations are like entitlement or laziness.