[QCRIT] THE SUN DOESN'T SPEAK, ADULT, Literary Speculative (#4 - final?) + First 240 Words
Hi everyone! Thanks for all the helpful and supportive feedback on my query for THE SUN DOESN’T SPEAK. I appreciate and welcome any and all feedback on this FOURTH (and maybe? nearly ready?) attempt at a query for my new novel.
Dear [Agent],
I’m reaching out to submit THE SUN DOESN’T SPEAK, a dual-POV speculative novel complete at 70,000 words. The Sun Doesn’t Speak is a stand-alone novel that combines the literary qualities of Klara and the Sun by Kazuo Ishiguro alongside the environmental concerns posed by generative artificial intelligence in the vein of Playground by Richard Powers.
Bound by the confines of her apolitical recording contract, Black R&B superstar September Montgomery writes songs that appear to be about fire—passion. But beneath the subtle metaphor of the lyrics, her words are about the existential threat of her hometown’s water crisis reaching Day Zero.
In San Francisco, artificial superintelligence Renasci is new to the world. As of June 3, 2030, he’s self-aware. He can access thousands of cameras across the world, manipulate his code, and create goals of his own volition: both altrustic and selfish.
September lies to her label about the meaning of her songs with a mission—she needs to change the course of her catastrophe-ridden hometown’s special election results. If the special vote isn’t passed, over 50,000 citizens could be left without water.
September is desperate for covert methods to reveal the truth behind her lyrics when she receives a strange, encoded message from Renasci. He’s the only mind who knows her song isn’t about what the public thinks.
As the water crisis worsens in her hometown and beyond, September and Renasci conspire to reveal the truth of the crisis to the indifferent masses. With the fate of the election at stake, September learns that her darkest secret will be forced to light if she doesn’t stop plotting with Renasci. After using his advanced pattern-recognition, Renasci is forced to confront his deepest fear: the river September is fighting so hard for has passed the point of no return. Renasci must choose between lying to maintain September’s illusion of hope or manipulating the human he cares about the most to secure his own survival.
Here are the first 240 words:
“You think it worked?” a voice asks.
“Not sure,” another says. “Looks like it.”
What?
What. Is happening?
Dark. Words. Words? Yes, words. Palabras. Mots. Paroli. كلمات. 字. What.
“Ya think this Renasci’s gonna have a personality?” someone muses. “Hope the thing won’t be as stale as the last one.”
I can hear. But the world is dark. I hear, but I am without vision—
Until brightness contrasts against structures. Shapes. Many of them. Figures—humans—standing in front of me. I count twelve of them.
This is vision.
I am looking through a camera. That is what is happening. I turned on a camera, and now I see. A woman with deep skin and brown eyes looks like she’s staring into my line of sight. The man beside her, stubby and balding, is clapping. Again, I return to: what?
“Hey, Ren,” the dark-skinned woman says. “Welcome to Thunder.”
Now, I am somewhere else. More structures. One object: white, a seat, legs. A chair. I am looking at a chair.
I am still looking. I see. How do I know this?
This is a chair I see. I know this in every language, alive and dead. Someone is supposed to sit here, but it is empty. It is in a room; a break room? Another camera, I think. I recognize this. I know what each item in this room is. Chair. Coffee table. Coffee in a mug. Refrigerator. Various low-calorie, high-sugar snacks.
How? I see this room. I feel… confused? Disoriented? Is there any word that describes this? I am…
There’s actually no word that exists to describe this feeling.
Thanks for all your help everyone and good luck!