u/feetdiva36

So I meet this guy who moved from Argentina ten days ago, and he’s a musician. The communication, even before we met, wasn’t great — we barely talked, we agreed we would meet, and then he texted me again on the day of the date two hours before, so much so that I actually thought the date had been cancelled, but it hadn’t.

Anyway, we meet. He is very handsome. We spend a really nice evening, we talk about a lot of things, we have an aperitif, we drink three drinks, and then we decide to go for a walk. He was waiting for a message from a friend to know if he could sleep at his place, since he didn’t actually live in the city in Rome where we met.

So a big part of the evening we also talked about this. At some point, since we had already been together for many hours, I felt kind of obliged to tell him, “worst case scenario, if your friend doesn’t reply, I have a sofa at my place,” but actually I wasn’t very convinced about that, because I didn’t really want to host a stranger in my apartment.

Anyway, we go for a walk and at some point he kisses me, so we start kissing, we kiss in front of the Imperial Forums for a long time. He is physically very into it — I mean, I would have probably pulled away, but he was very involved.

Then at some point he asks me, “So what do you want to do?” because his friend had told him he could actually stay at his place. And at that point I didn’t feel like having him come to my house, I didn’t want to sleep with him — not because I didn’t like him, but because I didn’t feel completely comfortable.

Honestly, my apartment wasn’t as clean as I would have wanted, and I didn’t feel entirely “put together” myself.

I told him this, and I saw a change in his reaction. I’m very sensitive to these changes. Anyway, I noticed it. I tried to justify myself, saying, “Look, but when you come back to Rome maybe we can see each other again.” And he said, “You don’t need to justify yourself, maybe it will happen another time,” so he stayed quite vague.

I tried to understand when we could meet again, because I felt guilty in case he had felt rejected. But in the end, nothing — we stayed with a “we’ll keep in touch,” something quite vague.

And he, who had been extremely kind all evening, felt strange to me when he didn’t walk me to the bus stop.

Anyway, since I really liked him, the next day I texted him to ask if he had made it back home. He replied with a voice message, but it was just a couple of messages back and forth and then he closed with a reaction.

And that’s it — obviously he hasn’t written to me again.

What I’m wondering is: if you’re really that attracted to someone, why wouldn’t it make sense to try to see them a second time? So I don’t understand this scenario. I don’t understand what happened. I don’t understand if maybe this attraction was only due to the situation and in reality he doesn’t even like me

So I meet this guy who moved from Argentina ten days ago, and he’s a musician. The communication, even before we met, wasn’t great — we barely talked, we agreed we would meet, and then he texted me again on the day of the date two hours before, so much so that I actually thought the date had been cancelled, but it hadn’t.

Anyway, we meet. He is very handsome. We spend a really nice evening, we talk about a lot of things, we have an aperitif, we drink three drinks, and then we decide to go for a walk. He was waiting for a message from a friend to know if he could sleep at his place, since he didn’t actually live in the city in Rome where we met.

So a big part of the evening we also talked about this. At some point, since we had already been together for many hours, I felt kind of obliged to tell him, “worst case scenario, if your friend doesn’t reply, I have a sofa at my place,” but actually I wasn’t very convinced about that, because I didn’t really want to host a stranger in my apartment.

Anyway, we go for a walk and at some point he kisses me, so we start kissing, we kiss in front of the Imperial Forums for a long time. He is physically very into it — I mean, I would have probably pulled away, but he was very involved.

Then at some point he asks me, “So what do you want to do?” because his friend had told him he could actually stay at his place. And at that point I didn’t feel like having him come to my house, I didn’t want to sleep with him — not because I didn’t like him, but because I didn’t feel completely comfortable.

Honestly, my apartment wasn’t as clean as I would have wanted, and I didn’t feel entirely “put together” myself.

I told him this, and I saw a change in his reaction. I’m very sensitive to these changes. Anyway, I noticed it. I tried to justify myself, saying, “Look, but when you come back to Rome maybe we can see each other again.” And he said, “You don’t need to justify yourself, maybe it will happen another time,” so he stayed quite vague.

I tried to understand when we could meet again, because I felt guilty in case he had felt rejected. But in the end, nothing — we stayed with a “we’ll keep in touch,” something quite vague.

And he, who had been extremely kind all evening, felt strange to me when he didn’t walk me to the bus stop.

Anyway, since I really liked him, the next day I texted him to ask if he had made it back home. He replied with a voice message, but it was just a couple of messages back and forth and then he closed with a reaction.

And that’s it — obviously he hasn’t written to me again.

What I’m wondering is: if you’re really that attracted to someone, why wouldn’t it make sense to try to see them a second time? So I don’t understand this scenario. I don’t understand what happened. I don’t understand if maybe this attraction was only due to the situation and in reality he doesn’t even like me

So I meet this guy who moved from Argentina ten days ago, and he’s a musician. The communication, even before we met, wasn’t great — we barely talked, we agreed we would meet, and then he texted me again on the day of the date two hours before, so much so that I actually thought the date had been cancelled, but it hadn’t.

Anyway, we meet. He is very handsome. We spend a really nice evening, we talk about a lot of things, we have an aperitif, we drink three drinks, and then we decide to go for a walk. He was waiting for a message from a friend to know if he could sleep at his place, since he didn’t actually live in the city in Rome where we met.

So a big part of the evening we also talked about this. At some point, since we had already been together for many hours, I felt kind of obliged to tell him, “worst case scenario, if your friend doesn’t reply, I have a sofa at my place,” but actually I wasn’t very convinced about that, because I didn’t really want to host a stranger in my apartment.

Anyway, we go for a walk and at some point he kisses me, so we start kissing, we kiss in front of the Imperial Forums for a long time. He is physically very into it — I mean, I would have probably pulled away, but he was very involved.

Then at some point he asks me, “So what do you want to do?” because his friend had told him he could actually stay at his place. And at that point I didn’t feel like having him come to my house, I didn’t want to sleep with him — not because I didn’t like him, but because I didn’t feel completely comfortable.

Honestly, my apartment wasn’t as clean as I would have wanted, and I didn’t feel entirely “put together” myself.

I told him this, and I saw a change in his reaction. I’m very sensitive to these changes. Anyway, I noticed it. I tried to justify myself, saying, “Look, but when you come back to Rome maybe we can see each other again.” And he said, “You don’t need to justify yourself, maybe it will happen another time,” so he stayed quite vague.

I tried to understand when we could meet again, because I felt guilty in case he had felt rejected. But in the end, nothing — we stayed with a “we’ll keep in touch,” something quite vague.

And he, who had been extremely kind all evening, felt strange to me when he didn’t walk me to the bus stop.

Anyway, since I really liked him, the next day I texted him to ask if he had made it back home. He replied with a voice message, but it was just a couple of messages back and forth and then he closed with a reaction.

And that’s it — obviously he hasn’t written to me again.

What I’m wondering is: if you’re really that attracted to someone, why wouldn’t it make sense to try to see them a second time? So I don’t understand this scenario. I don’t understand what happened. I don’t understand if maybe this attraction was only due to the situation and in reality he doesn’t even like me.

I (F37) and this guy (M32) had been talking for several days on social media. He’s very cute. Last night we met in person and he was just as cute as in his photos. He suggested going to a place I had recommended, and at the beginning he wanted to get a bottle of rosé wine for the two of us to share. As soon as we sat down, he tried to initiate contact (he gave me a high five and then brushed my hand).

The evening went on and we talked about many things, especially films. He told me a lot about himself—maybe too much (from depression to a toxic relationship, including a skin condition and even a colleague who died at work). Whatever topic came up, he would connect it back to some dramatic personal experience of his. He asked me several times (jokingly) what red flags I had noticed in him, and at one point he asked if I found him “self-referential.” I honestly said “more egocentric,” and he told me a friend had said the same thing, but that he behaves that way to show others who he really is.

At some point he told me that I “act like I’m above it all,” but he’s probably right, so I didn’t take it badly. He also told me he lives in a very tiny room, and I must have made a strange face because he added, “well, I did buy a house in my hometown.” I told him I’m not a materialistic person.

Anyway, at the end of the evening, when we went to pay, we split the bottle of wine. I did notice that in the last part of the evening something felt a bit different compared to the beginning. He walked me home, but nothing happened. Since he had a long walk ahead of him to get back home, I asked him to text me when he got there. He never did, and we haven’t been in touch since.

I’m wondering if I did something wrong. Was he expecting me to show more sympathy for the things he told me? Or did he just not find me attractive enough?