u/deathwish_91

So I grew up really sheltered when it comes to all the sex stuff. Zero experience with guys, too scared of porn because my mom made it seem like the most evil thing and she'd also check my searches every now and then. Mostly only knew stuff from sex ed.

Then I became really good friends with this guy about a year ago, and we basically started hanging out all the time. We just get each other, it's like we share a brain sometimes. Anyway I say this because a few months ago, we were having a random conversation and masturbation came up for some reason. I ended up telling him I'd never really masturbated (except like, messing with the shower head a bit), which I don't think I would've ever told anyone, but it felt fine with him for some reason. He seemed genuinely curious and it sparked a whole conversation. Eventually he asked why I'd never really tried, and I said I never felt the need and I wouldn't even really know how to go about it.

So he ended up looking up a video to show me. Long story short, we ended up sitting in his bed and masturbating together with a blanket over our laps, and I kinda liked it. So we did it again some time later, and it sort of became a thing. He ended up ditching the blanket later on because it got in the way but I still use it. I think I wouldn't have ever done something like this, but he just has a way of making me feel so safe and comfortable, it just works. Sorry for the super long setup, I just wasn't sure it'd make sense without it. Why I'm writing this is that, with seeing his penis every time we do it now, I just get a little curious about it. Like, what if I poked it? Or held it in my hand? What do his balls feel like? Stroking him feels like too much but it's interesting too.

They're just thoughts and I keep them to myself, but I wonder if it'd be that crazy? Like, this is strictly a friendly relaxing thing we do together. It hasn't changed our relationship and I like that because I like our relationship. I'm worried it'd cross a line and make things weird. Just wanted to get it out.

So it all started 2 weeks ago when I was told to keep a meet with client. So i scheduled it and everything was good.

So fast forward today , 1 min before meet I observed I haven't kept it as teams meeting , so there's no link. So i immediately changed it and thought no one noticed.

Right after that meet we had another meet and in that my manager asked did u change into teams meeting last minute , before I could say anything he said let's discuss this Tommorow

So now I did the same thing last year around December , he was not that angry, but still a bit angry , but gave it a pass coz I joined that year only and that's was my first time

Now I'm afraid what's gonna happen TMR. I am thinking of taking an holiday tomorrow , hoping he would forget this on Monday. What should I even say , should I just say sorry won't do it again , what should I even respond?? Please help, this is literally my job straight Outta college and I genuinely have no idea how to face this.