u/cutw_chicken_nugget

I suffer from a severe anxiety disorder and I often have anxiety attacks.

Recently, I've had two really intense panic attacks during judo class. I usually feel a lot of anxiety before going there, and I find myself needing constant attention and reassurance from my instructors just to get through it.

I really enjoy judo and I don't want to quit, but I'm starting to think I might have to because of this.

I've talked to my therapist about it, but even she doesn’t really know how to help me with this specific situation.

The panic usually starts during warm-up, but I can't clearly identify what triggers it. Once it starts, it escalates really fast and I completely lose control. I'm also autistic, so when it happens it turns into a full meltdown and it gets very overwhelming very quickly.

Yesterday I had a really severe panic attack and I feel embarrassed about it. I feel like I'm causing problems for my instructors and teammates, and now I'm worried they might be annoyed with me or dislike me because of it. I also feel like I should apologize, but I don't even know how to bring it up without making it awkward.

How do you manage panic attacks or anxiety during these kind of situations? And how do I stop feeling ashamed?

I genuinely feel like my stalker went from watching me through my bedroom window to living inside my walls.

In the past few days, I've been hearing noises coming from the walls: humming, knocking, and what sounds like movement. The knocking is constant and loud and is starting to drive me crazy. It got particularly worse today. No one else seems to hear these sounds except me.

I restarted taking my medication, everything seemed to be going well but now I feel out of control.

My next psychiatrist appointment is in June, and I honestly don't feel like I can manage until then.

I don't know what to do, I'm desperate.

I really need a honest opinion; is there anything wrong with the name I chose for myself? I chose the name Lennon, mainly because I'm a big fan of John Lennon, but also because it just feels right for me.

The thing is, my mom told me it's a "ridiculous" name and that people are going to make fun of me if I introduce myself like that. Ever since she said that, I've started feeling really insecure about it.

When my boyfriend calls me Lennon, it genuinely makes me feel good and more like myself but now I’m really scared to use it with other people.

I also don’t pass as male at all right now, so I feel like the name might make things “worse” or make people take me even less seriously.

So, is Lennon actually a ridiculous name?