u/confessed-throwaway

honestly, aside from parental abuse i went through, it's all the crazy bullying as a child that affects me to an insane level.

all the insecurities; apologizing, making myself smaller, misunderstanding deprecating "jokes", fearing judgement.. flinching & constant anxiety/jumpiness due to all the physical bullying. the involuntary age regression when something triggers me... i could go on about all the behaviors that CPTSD causes in me, and surely many many of you.

maybe this observation is false, and i'm seeing something wrong, but oh my god, childhood bullying- and just bullying in general is taken so lightheartedly. due to pop culture, media like movies and books, it's like we are desensitized to how truly devastating it is to a child's development. especially if their parents aren't really present. (be it emotionally and or otherwise...)

i feel so stupid blaming so many of my more "pathetic" behaviors being so obviously a result of the school experiences i went through. i wish there was better representation for this. i wrote an article about it last year, but i didn't explore the cptsd part of it much.

do any of you have school experiences that traumatized you? if yes, let's talk about it. i'm feeling quite alone in this.

hello everyone,

i'm currently working on my debut book, which is an mystery/detective urban romantasy. clairvoyants, necromancers, ghosts... cool stuff like that.

with booktube & booktok reviews & critiques becoming popular, i haven't really seen lesbian opinions represented online. (as lesbian representation in general is really hard to find.)

complain ahead, and tell me some things you're tired of, aren't looking forward to, or don't really like in your lesbian books. i will definitely keep these opinions in mind as i go through writing this novel.

thanks in advance!