u/coconutarab

I’ve never hallucinated in my life until a few nights ago. I woke up and thought I saw a huge spider next to me, a bit bigger than a tarantula. I got up so quick (I’m 7 months mind you) ran out the room and immediate tripped, hurt my knee. My husband was there on the phone, confused, watching this happen and quickly worrying and wondering what’s going on.

It looked so real….. my husband looked and looked for the spider but it wasn’t anywhere. Has anyone experienced this? Is this a pregnancy thing? I have been struggling to sleep this week so I have been sleep deprived, but I still manage to get maybe 3 hours of sleep a night.

Update: I had to cancel it. But I am feeling conflicted emotionally about this whole situation. I don’t know how to feel or what I’m allowed to feel or think.

Salam Alaikum everyone.

I don’t know how to go about this at all. My husband’s uncle passed away and today we found out the news. His father has yet to find out. My baby shower is next week, many have RSVPd, people are flying out for this baby shower with non refundable tickets.

I am told to postpone or cancel the baby shower. I can’t help but think I shouldn’t. The people flying out can’t postpone or cancel. I had lost two babies prior and buried the first, didn’t even get a chance to celebrate as that day was stolen by my sister in law, who wanted to introduce her now husband, to the family at the time the day of my wedding anniversary (the day I was doing the reveal). I had lost the baby a week after the intended date to reveal that I was having a baby, so I didn’t even get a chance to celebrate.

My sister in law has a second wedding this month, I don’t know what her intention is, whether to cancel or postpone. But it seems unrealistic as a lot of money has been spent preparing for it and many are flying out for her second wedding for her husband’s side of the family to celebrate.

A lot of money has went into preparing my baby shower. I don’t know what to do. It would be less difficult making this choice had nobody bought tickets to fly out 😔 and I can’t discuss this with my husband or his family as of right now, I don’t want to be insensitive to this situation, especially when my FIL is going to find out his brother passed today. But I’m also on a time crunch. We have about 60 people attending……

I don’t want to postpone as the month of Muharram is close and for us Shias, it’s a month of mourning. And after it’s over, my baby is expected to be due any day after that.

Personally I want to continue with the baby shower. They had me change the date after I kept telling them I don’t want to change the date, we would have celebrated already. And now I’m in this confusing situation. How do I even talk to my in laws about this?

My neighbor smokes at our apartment complex where it’s prohibited. Property management wants proof but I can’t obtain the proof unless I break into the unit, which I have no interest in doing. I’m also pregnant and the second hand smoke has been affecting my health. I received a doctor’s note I have yet to email, but I don’t know if it’ll help further for them to take action.

I gave them a detailed report from a police officer who visited and noticed the unit smelled strong of burnt marijuana, yet management claims they are sure it’s not them….. and I have no doubt they have no proof and I know they are wrong. I’ve even heard the neighbors talk about marijuana, but I have no proof of the conversation so I won’t be bringing it up, and it’s not clear to me why they discussed the topic of marijuana either.

I want to understand management more. Why do they claim the unit isn’t smoking when I know it’s them based off of many details I’ve given them? And why can’t the officers report be enough? I’ve also called security for this apartment complex and I believe they never came to talk to the neighbors, because when I called the policed I could actually hear them and I didn’t expect I would be able to.

Any advice on how I can get evidence? What would work? I have a baby on the way and I’m trying to protect my current health and the health of my baby. I chose this place for many reasons and it’s one of the few that have a no smoking policy.

I’ve reported my neighbors many times regarding them smoking marijuana. Our apartment complex prohibits smoking, including marijuana, which means it’s part of the lease agreement that they are not allowed to smoke.

Property management wants proof, photos or videos but the people smoke in their unit, it’s impossible to get it unless I barge in. I had called the non emergency line and an officer knocked on my neighbors door. Once they opened the door, he noticed a strong burnt smell of marijuana that he didn’t smell outside the unit. He wrote a detailed report. Of course he couldn’t go in, people also denied smoking, even though the unit smelled of marijuana….. I turn in the detailed report to my unit and it’s not enough evidence.

Property management said, “We have spoken with the residents from unit *** and we can assure you it is not coming from this unit.” Uhhhhmmm exactly what PROOF do they have to confirm that unit *** isn’t smoking, considering this happens after office hours and I know for a fact they haven’t visited.

I even received a doctors note explaining how harmful it is for me to be second hand smoking this shit because I’M PREGNANT. I’ve been stuck at home from how sick I’ve been due to my pregnancy.

Please stay away if all you have to say is, “well this is California, move out if you don’t want to breathe it.” I say to that, please STFU. why the hell should people who break rules be rewarded? I moved into recently, everything is good about this apartment except for the smoking. And if I’m getting migraines, sinus pressure and my nose burning from breathing it in through second hand smoking what the hell is my baby gonna have to face and endure??? Even with the windows closed, the smell still comes in.

I’ve reported my neighbors many times regarding them smoking marijuana . Our apartment complex prohibits smoking, including marijuana, which means it’s part of the lease agreement that they are not allowed to smoke.

Property management wants proof, photos or videos but the people smoke in their unit, it’s impossible to get it unless I barge in. I had called the non emergency line and an officer knocked on my neighbors door. Once they opened the door, he noticed a strong burnt smell of marijuana that he didn’t smell outside the unit. He wrote a detailed report. Of course he couldn’t go in, people also denied smoking, even though the unit smelled of marijuana….. I turn in the detailed report to my unit and it’s not enough evidence.

Property management said, “We have spoken with the residents from unit *** and we can assure you it is not coming from this unit.” Uhhhhmmm exactly what PROOF do they have to confirm that unit *** isn’t smoking, considering this happens after office hours and I know for a fact they haven’t visited.

I even received a doctors note explaining how harmful it is for me to be second hand smoking this shit because I’M PREGNANT. I’ve already had two miscarriages and I’m trying to keep this one safe and I’ve been stuck at home from how sick I’ve been. And the smoke has been harming me further!!!

Please stay away if all you have to say is, “well this is California, move out if you don’t want to breathe it.” I say to that, please STFU. why the hell should people who break rules be rewarded?

Salam Alaikum.

I have resentment towards multiple people who have hurt and wrong me over the years. I can never stop replaying everything they have done to me, from childhood till now. It’s hurting me and holding me back from doing simply daily tasks.

I am seeing therapy weekly but it’s not helping me. Therapy never helps. Islam has been the only thing that helps me heal, but I’m too shut down and have been for weeks. I’d like Islamic advice or stories to reflect on. I don’t know where to look.

This is me reaching out with what little mental strength I have. I have a baby on the way and I fear I’m going to be that someone who doesn’t want anyone who has hurt me around my baby. And it will cause immense problems between me and family members/ in laws.

I’m trying to heal a little and prepare before my baby is here.

It feels so awkward knowing I have a baby inside while having sex. I only feel more comfortable if I feel no movements. If he’s moving, I’m not interested. I feel for my husband, he doesn’t understand what it’s like for me.

I want to preface that I understand no one can provide legal advice, but I’d like to be educated on this matter and decide if it’s worth finding someone to speak to in person that could help me legally.
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I had called the non emergency line on my neighbors, who I believe to be the ones smoking marijuana in our apartment complex where smoking is prohibited on property. They are asking me for evidence of photos or videos, but I can’t obtain such evidence when they are smoking inside their units at night time between 10pm-1am.

An officer knocked on their door a few times before they opened up. He told me they claimed to have just woken up even though to him, it was clear they were awake and high. Then he was hit with a strong burnt marijuana smell. He made a detailed report so I can hand to my property management, which I did provide.

Management said they reached out to the unit and denied smoking. They denied smoking to the officer too, yet they had shown signs that they were high and again, the unit indicated strong scent of burnt marijuana once they opened up. He could smell it a bit in the hallway too.

Why is the officers words not enough? And is it true I need physical evidence? The detailed report is considered a legal document, correct? Are the photos and videos they are requesting legally required after the detailed report? Are they trying to avoid taking action?

I should be grateful. I am trying to and mentally preparing myself for my baby shower. But originally I was planning it. I was excited to plan it, I had planed out the colors, theme, I designed the cards, planned out the food, games, etc. but my mother in law one day calls my husband while I’m asleep and I wake up to it, I hear her say “ask your wife to give it up and let us plan it. Be in my side and not your wife’s.” That really upset me. I tried to have them involved and shared everything. But nobody wanted to get involved or help me. Now they are planning it, doing themes and colors and what not that goes against my ideas. The food they will have, I won’t be able to eat due to my pregnancy systems. Anyway. I am trying to be grateful, but it’s hard when they weren’t respectful of my decision :/ I feel awful that I’m ungrateful and most likely will show up annoyed. I don’t have a good poker face.

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What I wanted:

American inspired finger foods, sandwiches, pastas, desserts in cups, spring themed.

Spring themed - I don’t do classical ideas like blue or pink themed. I was going to focus on nature and the color green for boy.

It would be on a budget and a small gathering as I am shy and I don’t like being enter of attention, but I wanted to celebrate with close people, women only.

I wanted pot luck theme, everyone in the family helps make something. This is how I grew up doing things. I find it more meaningful and beautiful. My weddings food was prepared by my mom and aunt!

I had a bunch of friends who were ready to help me decorate. I wanted colorful balloons.

Cubes to paint and make alphabets on. Onesies to design.

The date I chose worked for all the people I wanted to attend who also said they would.

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In laws plans: (based on the details my husband shared and what I overheard over the call)

Hiring a caterer. American food with desi/pakistani flavors (I don’t like Pakistani food) and Pakistani food is oily and oily food makes me vomit during my pregnancy.

It’s going to be blue themed.

No balloons.

No flowers.

It will be mixed genders (I am very shy in front of men and I have stage freight :/) it’ll be a large crowd.

Printed paper with alphabet to color.

They changed the date and now people who are important to me can’t attend cause they are unavailable 😔 I keep a small circle of friends mind you.

Any tips on how to prepare for having a boy? Especially the diaper changing and ESPECIALLY the peeing part! What are your tricks and what are some unique things I need to know about having a boy vs a girl aside from being peed at? What specific things should I buy? I saw someone share this crocheted piece to cover the P.P. So you’re not being peed in the face as you change diapers.