Surname change
Someone posted a question about surnames yesterday, and it got me thinking about sharing my experience.
In 1995 I changed my surname from my adoptive Mum's name, to my biological Mum's surname. Why? Well, a couple of things...
I felt that the surname was all I "owned", and that it belonged to me, and no one could legally, or otherwise, take it away from me.
It was only a matter of time before I would get married, and have children of my own. Thus, I wanted stability for them, with regards to a surname.
My adoptive Dad had his own biological son. And, I knew that his family name would not "end".
Now, why am I bringing all this up?
About 3 years ago, my Missus found my biological Mum (long story how this came about). And, me being me, I jumped right in, contacted her immediately, and express if she doesn't want contact, that is fine, just say so, and I will move on with my life. After all, I have done so already for 4 decades.
With my biological Mum, and half sister, it was the whole honeymoon phase. You know that phase, where they, the biologicals, think life if great I have my child back, yet, don't want to answer the difficult questions. Well, this went on for a while, and I gave them grace to allow them to adjust to meeting me after 4 decades. - Imaging that: ME, the adoptee, giving THEM grace 🤦♂️
Alas, communication and making the effort to meet up and such, always seemed to fall on me. Hang on a minute, I was given up/rejected the first time, and didn't have a choice, and now here I am, "begging" them to accept me!
No, enough! I have since blocked them both, and have wished that I did not change my surname. I have learned that she, biological Mum, does not deserve me carrying her surname forward.
Honestly, if I didn't have children, I would flipping change my surname back in a heartbeat...!
TLDR: Am pissed that I changed my surname, and should have left well alone...