I’m at a loss!
Over the years I have tried therapy and medications. I had a very chaotic childhood and have found myself struggling to be functional. About 7 years ago I decided to try meds. Nothing ever worked or made things worse. For a few years I was on Lexapro after trying so many. But it only ever took the edge off of my anxiety and depression. Well after my marriage fell apart and my mother got cancer and passed that wasn’t cutting it. I was put on Wellbutrin and cymbalta. Wellbutrin made me so happy that I wanted to go frolicking in fields. But that was quickly over powered by so so much anger. Hence why they added cymbalta. But it’s not really made much difference. I find myself constantly over thinking, constantly forgetting or checking out of mid conversations. In the last 4 months I’ve wrecked twice once was eating fruit snacks by color and honestly auto pilot checks and I don’t know how I get places. I’m overstimulated easy and explode and then I’m instantly apologizing because I have no idea why it’s made me so upset. I got stressed and randomly got a dog that instantly was like why the hell did I do this. It’s like if life isn’t stressing me I’m adding things to stress me. My relationship is in the trash. I’m over analyzing them and why they aren’t enough. I’m over analyzing me and why I’m not enough. I’m constantly on my phone mindlessly scrolling and zoning out. Little stress feels huge. My doctor added rexulti today. And I’m just like not sure if it’s worth having THREE MEDS and is anxiety and depression the real issue like fuck.