My names Zeeke and these are my boyfriends (plus some merch I have of my beloved)! I go by he/him pronouns, I’m a minor, and I’m VERY queer. I’m also a fictionkin and questioning OSDD system >_<
I’d love to make friends if anybody wants to be! I use discord and instagram..
Hihi I’m Ze!! Doubles are okay for the most part ^^
A little bit ago I started doing research into OSDD and DID. I've ruled out DID, for the most part, because I feel like I align more with OSDD because of the traits I exhibit.
I have really bad dissociation, including episodes of derealization and depersonalization, that have been recognized and acknowledged by multiple therapists. I don't have terrible amnesia just small gaps in my memory or, most of the time, greyouts which I think is the correct term. Those memory problems are more recent though because in my childhood I remember little to nothing and if I do remember something it is in very vague details. My current memory issues are more for the present and past couple years while the complete forgetfulness is all before that point. I have a hard time remembering details and how I felt or thought when looking back on things, sometimes forgetting small things entirely or feeling like it was a dream and didn't actually happen.
Another thing I experience very often is constant personality (I don't know the right word to use) switches. Sometimes it feels like I'm a whole different person but not at the same time? Like I’m constantly switching the way I talk, think, act. Even my values and preferences change constantly; I think one thing and then a second later I'll think the complete opposite. I just feel like I'm constantly switching who I am, like I'm switching the version of me involuntarily. The best way I can explain it is like when you're getting ready in the morning and somebody picks out what you're wearing, regardless on if you like it or not. Like it's still me but wearing a different outfit.
I do want and plan on getting a professionals input on this but the problem is I can't at the moment. I am currently in the process of moving and can't get a therapist until I move, probably later then that. I do have a psychiatrist who I want to talk to about this but the issue with that is I see her once a month for roughly 30 minute sessions; I also am gonna have to stop seeing her soon because I'm moving beginning of June, so it won't give her much time to help me.
I'm trying to do as much research as I can and talk to other people who are diagnosed so I can get advice and outside input. Anything would be greatly appreciated!!
A little bit ago I started doing research into OSDD and DID. I've ruled out DID, for the most part, because I feel like I align more with OSDD because of the traits I exhibit.
I have really bad dissociation, including episodes of derealization and depersonalization, that have been recognized and acknowledged by multiple therapists. I don't have terrible amnesia just small gaps in my memory or, most of the time, greyouts which I think is the correct term. Those memory problems are more recent though because in my childhood I remember little to nothing and if I do remember something it is in very vague details. My current memory issues are more for the present and past couple years while the complete forgetfulness is all before that point. I have a hard time remembering details and how I felt or thought when looking back on things, sometimes forgetting small things entirely or feeling like it was a dream and didn't actually happen.
Another thing I experience very often is constant personality (I don't know the right word to use) switches. Sometimes it feels like I'm a whole different person but not at the same time? Like I’m constantly switching the way I talk, think, act. Even my values and preferences change constantly; I think one thing and then a second later I'll think the complete opposite. I just feel like I'm constantly switching who I am, like I'm switching the version of me involuntarily. The best way I can explain it is like when you're getting ready in the morning and somebody picks out what you're wearing, regardless on if you like it or not. Like it's still me but wearing a different outfit.
I do want and plan on getting a professionals input on this but the problem is I can't at the moment. I am currently in the process of moving and can't get a therapist until I move, probably later then that. I do have a psychiatrist who I want to talk to about this but the issue with that is I see her once a month for roughly 30 minute sessions; I also am gonna have to stop seeing her soon because I'm moving beginning of June, so it won't give her much time to help me.
I'm trying to do as much research as I can and talk to other people who are diagnosed so I can get advice and outside input. Anything would be greatly appreciated!!