u/bunnyhops_26

 want to share my testimony as to what I think may have been a narcissistic relationship. in this testimony we will call her Jade.  I met jade at the restaurant that she worked at. She is Latina, amazing body, extremely beautiful, way better than what I looked like. She’s got the big fake eyelashes, tons of tattoos, dresses very provocatively. Always posting pics on insta, making tik toks, and wanting to create drama.  we got along super well, we were so invested in one another. Except something kind of strange happened the first day.

There was a girl singing in the restaurant and I didn’t want to be rude so I watched her sing periodically maybe like in 10 sec intervals. I found out later on that day that it’s her sister-in-law singing and her sister. They’re a lesbian couple. My future partner is behind the bar and I’m sitting on one of the stools glancing back periodically. Her sister and her partner are the ones performing so yeah, I thought it would make me look rude if I didn’t show both of the singers some appreciation.

She gets really upset with me after literally knowing her for two hours, she got mad like we are a married couple with lots of problems. I think jade said something like “you want that bitch” I said “no” then she says “why you fucking looking at her then”. I tell her to be polite   the next day jade and I are hanging out having a good time and she decides to just break it off with me. I chase her get her back and tell her that she is the one for me. at this point I’m starting to already see that there are some major insecurities on her side. She got a tatoo on her back that said “Fuck ME” so if that tells you anything.

We begin to become more sexual because this girl loves SEX. We would have sex without protection and jade wanted me to get her pregnant and have a baby with her. I have a lot of mental problem with sexual interaction because I just came out of very brainwashing, religious, Pentecostal relationship. that I was in for two years. (no sex before marriage) so I guess this furthers her insecurities about herself because I’m not performing well. Jade thinks she is the problem.  I developed a problem with pornography due to my past but I was trying hard to cut it off because this girl was everything to me

So there was no porn at the time, I wasn’t even looking at porn anymore on my own.  she would look through my phone and had set a boundary no porn, no girls, if you want me. So I’m like “ok cool got it”. Weeks go by and my birthday comes up. Jade and I go to an Air B&B about an hour and half away. AT this point jade has wanted to leave me several times off of bunch of false accusations about the person she thinks I am. Everything is going well on my birthday until we go to a steak restaurant to eat. I glance down the aisle at this restaurant. Jade thinks I’m looking at a woman and I’m not at all. I’m just looking around like a normal person does. She ruins the dinner based off of this assumption. I’m telling her the truth but its not enough. We get back to the Air b&B and she begins to argue with me, talks about how she doesn’t want me anymore and tells me as soon as we get back home. I will never see her again. This sets me in panic mode. I beg to jade that I have no obsession or eyes for any of woman than her. I yell, I cry, act irrational because at this point, I have entertained this delusion and false accusations all of the time that don’t exist. We get back home and the same things happen. Jade doesn’t want me over and over again and I beg for her back.

So at this point I’ve known her for maybe two months and she has tried to end things with me over false accusations like 8 times already. At this point as well I’m staying at her place and have my life360 on so she knows my every move. She’s looking through my phone. I have deleted every picture of old girlfriends, thrown away any thing I have gotten from another girl. I don’t speak with any girl and I’m not really going anywhere because I’m unemployed at this point. Couple weeks pass and jade is basically still pulling the same stuff with me.

ive had enough at this point so I revert back to looking at porn because it's like a vice for me still, and if my partner never wants me what’s the problem . I lie about it. Jade catches me. immediately wants to break it off, lays hands on me, kicks me out of her place. I feel so extremely bad for lying, betraying her trust, and crossing the boundary. I explain that she is always ending it off with me over false accusations and my heart has been destroyed over and over by her in only 3 months. I beg her to take me back and she does. I tell her ill change and I’m the one meant for her. She takes me back but here’s where the fun part begins. Now I have to regain her trust when she never seemed to try to trust me before. Everywhere we go is now a battleground, I’m now accused of checking out EVERYONE, EVERYWHERE. IM NOT JOKING AT ALL.

Every single girl everywhere especially if we were walking behind them.

All the women at my work. My sister who came into town. Her mom.

Every market, store, tourist location. My grandfather’s 60 year old care giver. House cleaners. Children. Any video I watch on my phone or movie with her.

I’m beyond terrified to go anywhere, do anything, watch tv shows, use my phone in any way. I’m taking pictures of my junk every 15 min for 8 hours a day on my off days to show her I’m not pleasing myself, when I'm not working obviously. Im showing my phone to her all the time, im showing pictures of who is around me and what part of the house I am in. Im scared to death about when she comes back home after work because the accusations of everything is going to be relentless.  Every time im accused, im hoping to God that I say the right words and don’t start unnecessary drama. I’m no longer talking to any girl even casually, anywhere I go. Sex became a nightmare because she would always think I was thinking of someone else all of the time. Then on top of this I have no say of anything in general that happens in the relationship. Im still be threatened of being left frequently. Everywhere we go now my movements, actions, words are so robotic, and I still get accused all day long. Constant insults and false accusations. I understand i betrayed her trust with lying but this seemed like way too much. im constantly telling the truth and no matter what i say or show, it's not enough ever. This was a living hell

 i want to share my testimony as to what I think may have been a narcissistic relationship. in this testimony we will call her Jade.  I met jade at the restaurant that she worked at. She is Latina, amazing body, extremely beautiful, way better than what I looked like. She’s got the big fake eyelashes, tons of tattoos, dresses very provocatively. Always posting pics on insta, making tik toks, and wanting to create drama.  we got along super well, we were so invested in one another. Except something kind of strange happened the first day.

There was a girl singing in the restaurant and I didn’t want to be rude so I watched her sing periodically maybe like in 10 sec intervals. I found out later on that day that it’s her sister-in-law singing and her sister. They’re a lesbian couple. My future partner is behind the bar and I’m sitting on one of the stools glancing back periodically. Her sister and her partner are the ones performing so yeah, I thought it would make me look rude if I didn’t show both of the singers some appreciation.

She gets really upset with me after literally knowing her for two hours, she got mad like we are a married couple with lots of problems. I think jade said something like “you want that bitch” I said “no” then she says “why you fucking looking at her then”. I tell her to be polite   the next day jade and I are hanging out having a good time and she decides to just break it off with me. I chase her get her back and tell her that she is the one for me. at this point I’m starting to already see that there are some major insecurities on her side. She got a tatoo on her back that said “Fuck ME” so if that tells you anything.

We begin to become more sexual because this girl loves SEX. We would have sex without protection and jade wanted me to get her pregnant and have a baby with her. I have a lot of mental problem with sexual interaction because I just came out of very brainwashing, religious, Pentecostal relationship. that I was in for two years. (no sex before marriage) so I guess this furthers her insecurities about herself because I’m not performing well. Jade thinks she is the problem.  I developed a problem with pornography due to my past but I was trying hard to cut it off because this girl was everything to me

So there was no porn at the time, I wasn’t even looking at porn anymore on my own.  she would look through my phone and had set a boundary no porn, no girls, if you want me. So I’m like “ok cool got it”. Weeks go by and my birthday comes up. Jade and I go to an Air B&B about an hour and half away. AT this point jade has wanted to leave me several times off of bunch of false accusations about the person she thinks I am. Everything is going well on my birthday until we go to a steak restaurant to eat. I glance down the aisle at this restaurant. Jade thinks I’m looking at a woman and I’m not at all. I’m just looking around like a normal person does. She ruins the dinner based off of this assumption. I’m telling her the truth but its not enough. We get back to the Air b&B and she begins to argue with me, talks about how she doesn’t want me anymore and tells me as soon as we get back home. I will never see her again. This sets me in panic mode. I beg to jade that I have no obsession or eyes for any of woman than her. I yell, I cry, act irrational because at this point, I have entertained this delusion and false accusations all of the time that don’t exist. We get back home and the same things happen. Jade doesn’t want me over and over again and I beg for her back.

So at this point I’ve known her for maybe two months and she has tried to end things with me over false accusations like 8 times already. At this point as well I’m staying at her place and have my life360 on so she knows my every move. She’s looking through my phone. I have deleted every picture of old girlfriends, thrown away any thing I have gotten from another girl. I don’t speak with any girl and I’m not really going anywhere because I’m unemployed at this point. Couple weeks pass and jade is basically still pulling the same stuff with me.

ive had enough at this point so I revert back to looking at porn because it's like a vice for me still, and if my partner never wants me what’s the problem . I lie about it. Jade catches me. immediately wants to break it off, lays hands on me, kicks me out of her place. I feel so extremely bad for lying, betraying her trust, and crossing the boundary. I explain that she is always ending it off with me over false accusations and my heart has been destroyed over and over by her in only 3 months. I beg her to take me back and she does. I tell her ill change and I’m the one meant for her. She takes me back but here’s where the fun part begins. Now I have to regain her trust when she never seemed to try to trust me before. Everywhere we go is now a battleground, I’m now accused of checking out EVERYONE, EVERYWHERE. IM NOT JOKING AT ALL.

Every single girl everywhere especially if we were walking behind them.

All the women at my work. My sister who came into town. Her mom.

Every market, store, tourist location. My grandfather’s 60 year old care giver. House cleaners. Children. Any video I watch on my phone or movie with her.

I’m beyond terrified to go anywhere, do anything, watch tv shows, use my phone in any way. I’m taking pictures of my junk every 15 min for 8 hours a day on my off days to show her I’m not pleasing myself, when I'm not working obviously. Im showing my phone to her all the time, im showing pictures of who is around me and what part of the house I am in. Im scared to death about when she comes back home after work because the accusations of everything is going to be relentless.  Every time im accused, im hoping to God that I say the right words and don’t start unnecessary drama. I’m no longer talking to any girl even casually, anywhere I go. i have to watch my tone to not sound too flirtatious. i have to watch what i wear. Sex became a nightmare because she would always think I was thinking of someone else all of the time. Then on top of this I have no say of anything in general that happens in the relationship. Im still be threatened of being left frequently. Everywhere we go now my movements, actions, words are so robotic, and I still get accused all day long. Constant insults and false accusations. I understand i betrayed her trust with lying but this seemed like way too much. im constantly telling the truth and no matter what i say or show, it's not enough ever. This was a living hell