u/betterthanthematrix

Any Positive LL apt hunting or situations out there?

Having a hard time finding a decent place to live, which is inclusive of a good landlord.

I have to leave my current place due to a nasty landlord in a long line of history of bad landlords, really bad landlords, and psycho landlords. (Once I had a meh landlord, that was the best I've had)

Just had two prospective landlords who said I could have the place reneged before the lease was signed due to greed. One place was close to ideal (75%) I was crushed. The other fell through because the LL got mad about getting it move in ready, after the last tenant, it really needed it and they said they would then didn't want to.

I get LLs and renting are an issue but:

1. I'm struggling more to find a place because where I live now is the worst place I've ever been when it comes to tenants being assertive (mega ignorance.) The entire state is a slumlord, 30+ years behind anywhere I've lived. There's a lack of tenant's clinics and enforcement avenues. Lack of housing improvements and standards.

2. Maybe I don't know how to find a good LL/place?

I'd like to hear about positive LL experiences, input and support.

I got an angry 'We need to talk' voicemail from someone I haven't talked to in a few months because I stopped putting forth all of the effort in our relationship.

I'm just needing friendly objective advice if you don't like what I have to say move on.

That was yesterday evening, this morning cops came to my front door and called me, LM saying to call them. WTF? I didn't answer the door or phone.

I don't know how this went from getting non-profit help to getting a demanding voicemail to the cops showing up to my door?

I'm so tired of trying to navigate dumb social situations especially when it involves my livelihood.

I'm really tired of people misunderstanding my communications, actions and motives. I don't know how to deal with this.

This person became a friend through a non-profit charity. This person has a nonprofit for all of the attention, glory and accolades. This person does have some good qualities but ultimately they are a narcissist with princess mental syndrome. They go overboard, are dramatic and gossipy. They always have to be the center of attention, are very controlling, stubborn, passive aggressive and abusive with a bad temper that rears it's ugly head. Pretty much everybody has to kiss their ass. Then there is the nice side. I'm really tired of this dynamic. People put up with it and I'm tired of it that I can't say anything to this person or about this person not even in a low-key constructive way. Not my personality or style, we're very different. I'll call them princess badger because they like to passive aggressively badger people under the guise of poking fun or grand standing.

I was a client that received some of this charity and in return I did some volunteer work. I didn't have to volunteer anything I did this out of the kindness of my own heart to say thank you for the charity and got taken advantage of very badly by this person. It was so bad that my health declined, I was putting their needs before mine, so I put a stop to it. I am in a position to need this charity. I have experienced extreme hardship and trauma. I'm not in a position to be giving charity. This person has had a very stable, spoiled life, wants for nothing and has had every support. They got into nonprofit charity to make themselves look good. They cannot relate to what it's like to go through hardship or have lack. This person is very condescending to me not realizing that they treat me like a second class person, that I'm less than them because I need charity and because I went through this trauma. I did what I could, more than I should've and it just never seemed to be enough for this person.

After a while of trying to work with this person because I needed help but also was volunteering I realized that I needed space from them. I started adopting the same mechanisms other people have around them where they just only deal with them in small doses. I also stopped putting in an effort to maintain the relationship and suddenly there was no relationship.

I've been focusing on my needs because everything I was working on, my goal management and recovery got put on the back burner because of this person who was supposed to be helping me with those goals but that person's goal is always about them and their whims first.

I'm finally catching up on stuff that I'm months and months behind on. One of these things is getting my car fixed. That was one of the things I had to go to this nonprofit for, help with my car. I had gotten permission months ago from this person to go to their mechanic with the answer that they might do a donation or discount or set something up with the charity.

In retrospect, I think there was a misunderstanding.

When I went to the mechanic I wasn't expecting 100% free repairs maybe they thought I did.I thought I let the mechanics know I understood. I didn't know if they were going to do a donation or a discount or what but the mechanic said he would help me out and that's as far as we got on that conversation. We weren't sure what was wrong with my car but I was going to discuss that with the mechanic during our appointment but he didn't come to work. I talked about it a little with his supervisor. I let them know I could pay for parts. Apparently they called the nonprofit after I left, I don't know what they said but based on the voicemail I got, an super angry "We need to talk" means - I need to blow up at you and tell you off, not treat you with respect or have an adult conversation. Little miss princess mental syndrome was fuming like they were going to harm me. So angry I almost didn't even recognize the voice.

I didn't call back because I knew that there was no talking when they are that upset. But it's just like princess to expect me to pick up on the first ring after months of not hearing from them.

(Note the last time they called me, months ago I couldn't answer I was in a doctor's appointment. Since I didn't answer princess called again but didn't leave a voicemail. Since I was at the doctor I didn't know princess needed an answer to something. Princess could have easily texted me. I forgot about it and didn't hear back. I didn't think it was important because princess didn't leave a voicemail or a text. Princess mental syndrome kicked in and tried to make me look bad by telling our mutual friend that they and another friend both texted and emailed me about something important and I didn't answer, when in reality I never received a text, email or voicemail from either of them)

In their mind I should have been doting and kissing ass all these months. But princess knew through a mutual friend that I got very sick, I had to stop volunteering, need to move soon and have all these other priorities going on that I became reclusive. Princess has not checked on me once. Remember I'm the one in crisis, I'm the client not a donor or their servant. That is why I don't like volunteering for them because I get treated like a servant. Even my therapists said princess is not my friend based on the way I'm treated by them, even if I have received charity help.

I don't know what to do. I thought maybe texting or email because having a phone conversation with yelling at me, making false accusations, not hearing me out because princess jumps to conclusions, wrong conclusions, doesn't let me explain myself and then chews me out or gives me the silent treatment. This has happened before over the pettiest things. They'll make the situation worse for me. We live in a place with small social circles.

I know this has to be cleared up. I'm too sick to deal with their outrage over what I see as a simple misunderstanding. I have very limited energy. I also think Princess might be trying to cut me off so I can't go to the mechanic or something. I don't know how amicable princess is towards a peaceful resolution. A controlling narcissist resolution is often the response.

I want to stay on good terms but have a comfortable space between us if possible. Like I said she does have good qualities but her princess mental syndrome gets in the way.

While I did get help from the charity, princess has no idea how much I did for them, won't admit the help I've given and doesn't give me enough respect to have an adult conversation to explain to her everything that I've done. Princess actually wanted to exploit my skills and knowledge for their use and control. Princess consistently makes a personal effort to try and "alpha me" every time I see them in person.

I have so little wherewithal right now I have gone through so much stress and trauma. I'm in the middle of trying to take care of so many details. Last night I started writing something explaining what happened and being clearer about boundaries, which I thought was best in order to be heard because this person doesn't listen to me in conversation whether I have something important to tell them express that I'm upset ask them a question or even to apologize to them.

Since the cops came I'm upset. Did I do something wrong? Am I missing something? Why call the cops? I don't even want to call the cops back. WTF?

What do I do or say to someone like this? Email? Text? How do I deal with princess and whatever nastiness they have prepared for me?

I would really like to just not give a fuck and write them off but I can't afford to leave a mess.

Then there's my car.

I just got a voicemail from someone I haven't talked to in a few months because I stopped putting forth all of the effort in our relationship.

This person became a friend through a non-profit charity. This person has a nonprofit for all of the attention, glory and accolades. This person does have some good qualities but ultimately they are a narcissist with princess mental syndrome. They go overboard, are very dramatic and gossipy. They always have to be the center of attention, are very controlling, stubborn and abusive with a bad temper that rears it's ugly head. Pretty much everybody has to kiss their ass.

I was a client that received some of this charity and in return I did some volunteer work. I didn't have to volunteer anything I did this out of the kindness of my own heart to say thank you for the charity and got taken advantage of very badly by this person. It was so bad that my health declined, I was putting their needs before mine, so I put a stop to it. I am in a position to need this charity. I have experienced extreme hardship and trauma. I'm not in a position to be giving charity. This person has had a very stable, spoiled life, wants for nothing and has had every support. They got into nonprofit charity to make themselves look good. They cannot relate to what it's like to go through hardship or have lack. This person is very condescending to me not realizing that they treat me like a second class person, that I'm less than them because I need charity and because I went through this trauma. I did what I could, more than I should've and it just never seemed to be enough for this person.

After a while of trying to work with this person because I needed help but also was volunteering I realized that I needed space from them. I started adopting the same mechanisms other people have around them where they just only deal with them in small doses. I also stopped putting in an effort to maintain the relationship and suddenly there was none.

I've been focusing on my needs because everything I was working on, my goal management and recovery got put on the back burner because of this person who was supposed to be helping me with those goals but that person's goal is always about them and their whims first.

I'm finally catching up on stuff that I'm months and months behind on. One of these things is getting my car fixed. That was one of the things I had to go to this nonprofit for, help with my car. I had gotten permission months ago from this person to go to their mechanic with the answer that they might do a donation or discount or set something up with the charity.

In retrospect, I think there was a misunderstanding.

When I went to the mechanic I wasn't expecting 100% free repairs maybe they thought I did. I didn't know if they were going to do a donation or a discount or what but the mechanic said he would help me out and that's as far as we got on that conversation. We weren't sure what was wrong with my car but I was going to discuss that with the mechanic today, during our appointment but he didn't come to work. I talked about it a little with his supervisor. I let them know I could pay for parts. Apparently they called the nonprofit after I left, I don't know what they said but based on the voicemail I got, "We need to talk" means - I need to blow up at you and tell you off, not treat you with respect or have an adult conversation. Little miss princess mental syndrome was fuming like they were going to harm me. So angry I almost didn't even recognize the voice.

I didn't call back because I knew that there was no talking when they are that upset. But it's just like princess to expect me to pick up on the first ring after months of not hearing from them.

(Note the last time they called me, months ago I couldn't answer I was in a doctor's appointment. Since I didn't answer princess called again but didn't leave a voicemail. Since I was at the doctor I didn't know princess needed an answer to something. Princess could have easily texted me. I forgot about it and didn't hear back. I didn't think it was important because princess didn't leave a voicemail or a text. Princess mental syndrome kicked in and tried to make me look bad by telling our mutual friend that they and another friend both texted and emailed me about something important and I didn't answer, when in reality I never received a text, email or voicemail from either of them)

In their mind I should have been doting and kissing ass all these months. But princess knew through a mutual friend that I got very sick, I had to stop volunteering, need to move soon and have all these other priorities going on that I became reclusive. Princess has not checked on me once. Remember I'm the one in crisis, I'm the client not a donor or their servant. That is why I don't like volunteering for them because I get treated like a servant. Even my therapists said princess is not my friend based on the way I'm treated by them, even if I have received charity help.

I don't know what to do. I thought maybe texting because having a phone conversation with yelling at me, making false accusations, not hearing me out because princess jumps to conclusions, wrong conclusions, doesn't let me explain myself and then chews me out or gives me the silent treatment. This has happened before over the pettiest things. They'll make the situation worse for me. We live in a place with small social circles.

I know there has to be some smoothing over but I'm too sick to deal with their outrage over what I see as a simple misunderstanding. I have very limited energy. I also think Princess might be trying to cut me off so I can't go to the mechanic or something. I don't know how amicable princess is towards a peaceful resolution. A controlling narcissist resolution is often the response.

I want to stay on good terms but have a comfortable space between us if possible. Like I said she does have good qualities but her princess mental syndrome gets in the way.

While I did get help from the charity, princess has no idea how much I did for them, won't admit the help I've given and doesn't give me enough respect to have an adult conversation to explain to her everything that I've done. Princess actually wanted to exploit my skills and knowledge for their use and control. Princess consistently makes a personal effort to try and "alpha me" every time I see them in person. It must be so exhausting to be princess but it's more exhausting dealing with princess.

I have so little wherewithal right now I have gone through so much stress and trauma. I'm in the middle of trying to take care of so many details.

What do I do or say to someone like this? Email? Text? How do I deal with princess and whatever nastiness they have prepared for me?

I would really like to just not give a fuck and write them off but I can't afford to leave a mess.

Then there's my car.