Alcoholic and Depressed Brother who is in denial
Hey everyone. I'm turning to you guys because I really don't know how to continue...
I would really appreciate to hear from your experiences or potentially getting advice from anyone who has went through something similar with a family member or somebody close.
My younger Brother (24 y/o male) has been exhibiting behaviors of depression and has been an alcoholic (our father was/is also a functional alcoholic for the past 20 years) for quite some time now.
It started to go downhill very rapidly within the past year when he quit his job and was just sitting around at home all day playing video games or doomscrolling all the time (whilst drinking secretly).
At some point it came as far as him admitting to me that he had suicidal thoughts and that he's not doing well and he wants to change. Also important to know that he opened up to me about this because he drank away the entrie wine cellar of my parents while they were out traveling for a few months (at least 40-60 bottles of expensive wine) and he asked me to help him out because he knew they would kick him out of the house for that.
I did the most I could and told my parents about my brothers mental state and that we need to help him. Everyone in the family is supportive and we encourage him to seek professional help and also I made clear to him that I'm his friend here and whatever happenes I'm always there for him and I love him and I want to help him.
Many lies and empty promises made by him later... He refuses to see that he has any problems (admitted to the fact that starting to drink was one of his biggest mistakes he made in his life whilst he was on a 2 month dry spell when we were in the US at my parents place where he had no access to alcohol) and he still drinks behind our backs and lies to me about it.
He does not want to go to therapy and also me offering him to go to AA meetings with him together (since he's socially anxious) he refuses. And every time the conversation becomes uncomfortable, he just shuts down completely and gets into his "autistic" mode as I call it and just looks blankly at the wall like a lobotomized person or just starts scrolling reels while we're having a conversation and refuses to look me in the eyes or acknowledge my existence.
The situation now is following. The apartment we live together in as a family has been sold and by end of year everyone has to be going their own way. My mom got fed up with this childish and jobless behavior and gave him an ultimatum. If he wants to stay in the apartment he has to send at least 3 job applications a week and put her in CC as proof and he needs to register at the regional employment center since he's been unemployed and leeching off the family (and me) for the past months... And now he's past the ultimatum and deadline and he's telling us how it's too much pressure for him to handle and that he cannot do it anymore (applying for jobs).
He has no money to his name and he seems not to care about anything except playing video games, scrolling (and drinking secretly). And every time he gets his hands on some money he spends it on food, snus, or video game purchases.
We explicitly told him that whatever help he needs we will support him to get any form of treatment and/or therapy and he refuses everything.
I really don't know what to do and I'm getting desperate... please if anyone has any experience or advice please share it with me...