u/anxietyhaver777

DISCLAIMER: I am not shaming anyone for using GLP-1 drugs if they need them. However, recently as I’m sure most of you know, there is a massive influx of people who are already thin and have no health conditions who use it to get even thinner. To me it sounds like a drug-induced eating disorder. I can think of plenty of celebrities as well as people I know in real life who are doing or have this. I have no idea what’s wrong with these “doctors” that prescribe this to thin healthy people, especially cause they can turn around and say benzos are evil to people with severe panic attacks that actually need them (eye roll).

So why should I care? I don’t know, but I’m so so so preoccupied with this concept, what it means about me, what it means about them, what it means about beauty standards, if beauty standards are ridiculous or if they’re objective. I cannot stop obsessing over this topic. Like, would my life be way easier if I was thin? Should I try it? It is frying my brain.

Those are just intrusive thoughts though. I have no desire to take one of these drugs despite being a few pounds overweight, but it really messes with my body image and my view of society as well. In my head I can’t determine if people who do extreme things to lose unnecessary weight are mentally ill or not. Like, I have noticed when I was thinner I did get treated better and I know a lot of people echo this. It’s very disturbing and dystopian to me. I don’t know what to do to stop doomscrolling about this and stop letting it live in my head rent-free.

It helps to get off social media, but then I see the GLP ads on TV or on YouTube or reddit or I hear people in real life talk about using it and it triggers me SO much. It’s messing with how I interact with people. My coworkers, my family, everyone. If I see a normal sized person has lost any weight I immediately start spiraling in my head. I don’t want to hurt anyone and I want to understand the cause of this, but maybe I’m just seeking reassurance that this trend is truly toxic. I feel crazy right now. Am I just gaslighting myself because society is messed up?

EDIT: please do not give me weight loss advice. It is very triggering to me and I have a tendency towards disordered behaviors now when I obsess over calories.

I’m a U.S. size 10 female, 29. I have never had issues with eating until I gained a bunch of weight in my mid 20s. I used to be a size 0. Back then, funny enough, I was so insecure about being too thin.

Lately I feel so exhausted by anyone talking about weight at all, especially with all the GLP-1 ads everywhere. Every woman I know who is my size constantly complains that she’s fat and is either dieting, on a weight loss medication, or both.

I’ve had to leave the room when I hear coworkers talk about weight. I’ve tried to tell my mom to stop because it makes me uncomfortable, but she insists I don’t understand (she’s smaller than me).

I used to think that genetics had some part in weight and that a lot of thin people can’t help that they look that way, but now I’m thinking that every super thin person is actually starving themselves and I’m not good and disciplined enough to be like them. Literally I’m afraid of thin people. When I finally met my mother in law in person (she’s super nice), and I saw that she was thin, I instantly didn’t trust her anymore and cried a lot about how I think there’s something wrong with me even though my husband says he thinks my weight is perfect how it is.

Like, I’m at the point where I don’t even want to watch tv or even YouTube because everyone is so thin, and even the people who used to not be thin are now, thanks to ozempic. I feel so trapped and alone, especially because my husband is deployed right now. I have no one who understands except my therapist.

My husband and I have always wanted to have a small wedding, only inviting close family members. From my family’s side, I really only wanted to invite my mom, stepdad, dad, stepmom, and maybe my sister (my sister is extremely problematic but that’s a long story).

I sent invites to these people, including my sister, and my mom got super upset that I didn’t invite my aunt and uncle or my grandma. I had been reiterating since the very beginning that I wanted a very small wedding, plus I’m broke. She didn’t care. She was absolutely not having it and said I HAVE to invite these people. I told her I would consider it and of course she freaked out.

After we “considered” inviting them, I decided to invite my aunt and uncle but NOT my grandma. I did not invite any grandparents or any other aunts and uncles. For context, my family is very, very toxic. My mom’s mom, the grandma in question, is more or less a “cult leader” and follows extremely legalistic “Christianity”. She wants everyone in my family to adhere to her beliefs, so she gives them money and support if they do and ostracizes and mocks them if they don’t. The list of things she doesn’t approve of is very lengthy and consists of tattoos, piercings, alcohol, smoking, vaping, listening to secular music, dressing like it’s not the 1950s, dyed hair, fake nails, being even the slightest bit chubby, and most importantly, believing that mental illnesses exist, let alone having one.

I have dealt with extreme anxiety and OCD since childhood, and I have been emotionally abused by my mom and grandma for as long as I can remember. The two of them have caused so much trauma for me, my sister (though she is under their spell currently and will deny it), and my cousins. I see my grandma as the puppet master of the family and my mom and aunt as her two golden children. Her other children didn’t get so lucky. My family shamed me so much for seeing a therapist and getting on life saving medication that allowed me to finally function as an adult.

Anyway, TL;DR, my mom threw a royal fit and so did my aunt, because I didn’t invite my grandma, and they declined my invites, calling me evil and disgusting. My mom, stepdad, aunt, and uncle did not go to the wedding at all. I have stopped talking to them because I’m so heartbroken. They all think that they are in the right and refuse to apologize. My mom has really hurt me but I broke the no contact recently and she just made me feel worse, saying I was so wrong and cruel for not inviting my grandma.

So yeah, am I the scallywag here? Should I continue to not speak to my family since I know it’ll hurt me if I do? I love all of them and don’t want to hurt them by how I might react as well. It seems like cutting the out is the safest bet.