u/__mageetah

I was doing a virtual check in for a dermatologist appointment later today. When going through the medical events list, THAT was entered on the date of my bisalp (which was medically necessary due to an ovarian cyst that had been ignored by 7 doctors over 10 years) instead of the surgery itself, which was void from the chart. Got my bisalp September of last year.

Just venting tbh. And encouraging any and all to keep on keeping on w their sterilizations for whatever reasons they’re getting them. Because we will NEVER be protected or represented in health care.

I know today is extremely difficult for a lot of people. I just wanted to say thank you to all of the wonderful mothers in this group that are breaking the cycle. To all the children of pwBPD today, we got this. Good luck w NC, grey rocking, swatting flying monkeys, etc. whatever you gotta do to get through today. I believe in you so hard and I hope you all have the opportunity to do some hardcore self care soon.

This sub has been an excellent source of support for me and I wanna say thanks to the mods as well for all you do to make this a safe space.

T minus 10 hours till “mom’s” day is done.

Had my second, I think anaphylaxis, on Monday. Title says it, but as someone w generalized anxiety and was raised to never ever ever ever ever call an ambulance or go to the ER, I still feel like I’m dramatic. Obvi will never put off epi pen or anything, but I’m just new to this and understand how seriously life threatening this is to some ppl so I’m just looking for how baseline my reaction was/if I reacted correctly.

Monday, idk what the allergy was yet. But it happens 15 mins after I started potting plants. Full body hives, full body redness and sweating, lip swelling. NOT any throat/tongue swelling. BAD GI pain, felt like it was gonna come outta both ends but it didn’t, nausea, dizziness, lightheaded, hands froze like a crab, shortness of breath, tight chest, but avoided a panic attack this time by taking as deep breaths as possible. Doom and gloom but chill-ish. Just in tons of GI pain. Took the epi, called 911, Firemen hung w me while EMTs were on the way and they couldn’t get blood pressure or pulse via whatever they out on ur fingers idk and gave me oxygen. GI Pain so bad couldn’t walk well (at this point hives and lips are chilling out but GI pain still v bad and tightness of chest bad and dizzy af). but v regular heart rate (EMT asked if I exercise a lot and I mildly exercise). No additional drugs administered at ER and symptoms stopped after 30ish mins. 1/1.5 hour after epi, full body hives again (including head and back) and got IV Benadryl. Sent home w steroids. Shortness of breath continuing 3 days after.

Obvi I think I did the right thing. But bc the epi worked I felt like I was dramatic for calling ambulance. All symptoms arriving and worsening, administration of epi and called 911 within 15/20 mins in total. Did I call to fast since the epi worked? What was this on a scale of 1-10 (while understanding that there are people w MUCH worse reactions than mine so far)?

I know you can get it on Amazon, but can someone in the US who has gotten it on Amazon reply w the specific link they used? I’m a little skeptical if I’m getting the right thing and don’t trust Amazon a bunch but rly want access to desmoxan

I have “quit” about a million times. I am finally getting health issues figured out, and I need to start hormonal birth control so I can actually start living my damn life. Of course, BC very much increases risk of heart attack, stroke, blood clots, etc etc etc in smokers. Any nicotine at all, even cessation tools.

I very irresponsibly stated taking it anyway even tho I’m continuing to fail to quit vaping. I know. I already know. There’s literally nothing you can tell me that I don’t already know in terms of deep shame lol.

I stated working out regularly to build new dopamine crap idk. Hobbies, finally eating well, therapy for 3 years. But whatever thing that lives in my brain that makes me a deeply fucked up individual despite rly trying to do better in life is the same thing that’s keeping me from legit quitting.

I’m just so tired of being a failure. I am so damn ready to change and so damn weak when I give it a go w quitting nicotine. I keep improving other parts of my life and expecting nicotine to fall into place.

What do u do to break the mental