u/_Spidey-Fan_

Hey everyone, would love advice and am so done with this BS.

I'm a graduating college senior who doesn't have a job yet so I have the opportunity to try a taper right after graduation. As far as I can tell, it's actually more of a mental block than a physical dependence.

I have been taking seroquel for 1.5 years. I was prescribed 50mg after 4 months of serious insomnia (3-4hrs/night) that didn't have a clear cause. Because of the ambiguity and all of the different sleep hygiene stuff I tried that didn't help, I was basically traumatized when it came to sleep and seroquel offered me a lifeline.

It did what it needed to do, but now the initial cause has been found + eliminated and I see how the seroquel is negatively impacting me. Socially, cognitively, emotionally. It basically ruined my college experience. I don't begrudge my psychiatrist for doing this because I was desperate, but it's not a good drug.

Thing is, I am very successful at being able to taper, but as soon as I get to the point where the next taper step is to stop completely, I just can't do it. I've gotten to 6.25mg (1/4 of the 25mg pill) but haven't been able to go lower. I'll try it, not sleep, freak out, and then cave and take it again. And then (because I already had stress-induced insomnia) I'll enter a stressful period (e.g. exams) and go up to 200. Then I go back down, then have stress, rinse + repeat.

This is going to be a very quiet period for me as I'll just be job seeking, does anyone have recommendations for how I can take that final step and make it stick? Mentally, physically, taper-routine, etc. suggestions?

EDIT: after final exams are over I'm definitely gonna try to get an exercise routine and eat better. Thing is, I tried that and more during the 4 month insomnia period so I'm still stressed they wouldn't work anyway. It's like a why bother thing even though I know that the original cause is gone

Hey everyone, would love advice!

I'm a graduating college senior who doesn't have a job yet so I have the opportunity to try a taper right after graduation. As far as I can tell, it's actually more of a mental block than a physical dependence.

I have been taking seroquel for 1.5 years. I was prescribed 50mg after 4 months of serious insomnia (3-4hrs/night) that didn't have a clear cause. Because of the ambiguity and all of the different sleep hygiene stuff I tried that didn't help, I was basically traumatized when it came to sleep and seroquel offered me a lifeline.

It did what it needed to do, but now the initial cause has been found + eliminated and I see how the seroquel is negatively impacting me. Trust me, I need to get off of this.

Thing is, I am very successful at being able to taper, but as soon as I get to the point where the next taper step is to stop completely, I just can't do it. I've gotten to 6.25mg (1/4 of the 25mg pill) but haven't been able to go lower. I'll try it, not sleep, freak out, and then cave and take it again. And then (because I already had stress-induced insomnia) I'll enter a stressful period (e.g. exams) and go up to 200. Then I go back down, then have stress, rinse + repeat.

This is going to be a very quiet period for me as I'll just be job seeking, does anyone have recommendations for how I can take that final step and make it stick? Mentally, physically, taper-routine, etc. suggestions?

EDIT: after final exams are over I'm definitely gonna try to get an exercise routine and eat better. Thing is, I tried that and more during the 4 month insomnia period so I'm still stressed they wouldn't work anyway. It's like a why bother thing even though I know that the original cause is gone

Hey everyone, would love advice!

I'm a graduating college senior who doesn't have a job yet so I have the opportunity to try a taper right after graduation. As far as I can tell, it's actually more of a mental block than a physical dependence.

I have been taking seroquel for 1.5 years. I was prescribed 50mg after 4 months of serious insomnia (3-4hrs/night) that didn't have a clear cause. Because of the ambiguity and all of the different sleep hygiene stuff I tried that didn't help, I was basically traumatized when it came to sleep and seroquel offered me a lifeline.

It did what it needed to do, but now the initial cause has been found + eliminated and I see how the seroquel is negatively impacting me. Trust me, I need to get off of this.

Thing is, I am very successful at being able to taper, but as soon as I get to the point where the next taper step is to stop completely, I just can't do it. I've gotten to 6.25mg (1/4 of the 25mg pill) but haven't been able to go lower. I'll try it, not sleep, freak out, and then cave and take it again. And then (because I already had stress-induced insomnia) I'll enter a stressful period (e.g. exams) and go up to 200. Then I go back down, then have stress, rinse + repeat.

This is going to be a very quiet period for me as I'll just be job seeking, does anyone have recommendations for how I can take that final step and make it stick? Mentally, physically, taper-routine, etc. suggestions?

EDIT: after final exams are over I'm definitely gonna try to get an exercise routine and eat better. Thing is, I tried that and more during the 4 month insomnia period so I'm still stressed they wouldn't work anyway. It's like a why bother thing even though I know that the original cause is gone

I'm taking focalin. Is this normal? Do y'all know if it's going to get higher from here or if this is the peak? My typical resting heart rate is around 80 (yes I need to exercise more) but right now it's resting around 100 and I'm a bit concerned.

It's also around 20 bpm higher than it typically is when I'm strenuously walking just standing up and walking to the bathroom.

I got a different manufacturer this time, the one I usually get is known to be less potent.

I've been taking 50mg for insomnia for 1.5 years. It was great at first and I was just happy to be able to sleep.

However especially this year I've been feeling my motivation slipping away, I thought it was just laziness or difficulty adjusting because my schedule has been so irregular. It's gotten to the point where I will have deadlines and logically care about them, but emotionally I don't feel anything about it.

Historically I've been driven by not wanting to let others down, which maybe is good or maybe isn't, but suddenly that's not enough anymore and even my logical brain that's telling me I need to do x for the sake of even my own future isn't enough for me to emotionally care.

I've been so confused about it, and it's been so gradual that I don't think I've really been noticing aside from knowing I'm not as motivated. But I made the emotional connection last night and I truly think that's why I'm falling behind on everything.

Has anyone else had this emotional blunting happen super gradually for them? I guess that might be the point if you have bipolar. Do you think seroquel could be the cause?

I'm more of a canon-compliant/in-universe fic fan. I also appreciate when fics get andrew + neil's characterization right (or at least similar). I love anything Andriel and I'm a huge sucker for hurt/comfort and angst. Do y'all have any recommendations based on these criteria? I'm good with any length!

I've already read the the classic post-canon long fics (Lessons in Cartography, right side of rock bottom, Trust Fall (and Welcoming Arms), and The Destination Was Always Forever).

Thank you so much!

Hey friends, would love your thoughts on this extremely long wall of text! If you can take the time to read and give me your thoughts I'd really appreciate it.

To start, I was prescribed seroquel for sleep, not BD. I transferred into my college in junior year, I am now in my last semester of senior year. And it's been honestly nothing but downhill my whole time here. Needless to say this is NOT what I wanted out of my college experience.

Fall of junior year, I started taking accutane for acne. A couple weeks later, I developed INSANE insomnia, like 3hrs/night, no matter what I did. Obviously not sleeping meant everything went down the toilet: socializing, grades, brainpower, etc. And I was very depressed. This went on for the whole semester until a psychiatrist prescribed me 50mg seroquel for sleep during my winter break. It was weeks after that I realized the accutane was the source. At that point, I had to wait for the accutane to get out of my system, and it was too late to stop taking the seroquel without rebound insomnia. I was traumatized by not sleeping for 3 months, so I was happy to just be able to sleep.

Spring of junior year started well and I was making more social connections, but one thing I really noticed was how apathetic I was about school work. I was one of those students who based their self-worth on their GPA, which is obviously a terrible idea, but that's how it was. I'm not a genius or anything but I've always been motivated to do my work by fear of failure/letting people down. I got a B (the horror!!!!!) and basically procrastinated all of my final essays which was the first indication things were going downhill.

Jump to senior year:

Socially: School started and I felt more emotionally unstable than I ever had. I sent an objectively insane email to a professor over something that I was disappointed about relating to their class. I'm usually able to think things through and that was definitely out of character. I'm introverted and used to be scared of large groups. Where I had been going to the occasional party junior year, in senior year I have been too scared to go and have been avoiding invites to things. I have a lot of roommates, and we're not best friends, but they're nice people. But I became actively avoidant of them and large groups in general. At this point, I have 2 solid friends, but I only see either of them maybe every 1 or 2 weeks. It's super lonely. And the thing is I am capable of making connections. I made friends in high school, I have friends from my old college. And obviously I do have friends here, but I'm not seeing them regularly.

Academically: I am a history major which requires a thesis at my university. It's a year long course with intermittent turn ins (e.g. chapter 1 is due on x date, etc.). And I have not made a single deadline. My entire 60 page thesis, which I have not written, is due May 1 (in 2 days) or, if I am VERY lucky and get my extension, May 4. I have sources and know what each of them does, but I can't muster the brainpower to put them together. I also don't care. Logically, I do care and I know I'm potentially screwing up the rest of my life by not actively writing this right now. But emotionally I don't feel anything. I'm a very empathetic person, and literally my worst fear has always been letting people down, but I've been letting down my professor repeatedly by missing deadlines. Logically, I know that I'm seriously inconveniencing them, but emotionally I'm just kind of numb about it. I think that's honestly the biggest warning bell for me.

I was prescribed focalin a week ago to see if I was experiencing ADHD symptoms, and it has been helpful for overcoming inertia, but I'm putting that energy into logistical tasks instead of brainpower ones. I still don't feel any internal drive/emotions towards my thesis or other work. I guess I feel like the feelings/motivations that drove me are still here logically, but they aren't there emotionally anymore.

I've been reflecting for a few hours (instead of writing LOL) on why I don't want to engage in this topic that I even felt more excited about last semester and was thinking it might not be ADHD, or at least that's not the full story.

I don't have a job yet (because I haven't had the motivation to apply) so I'm thinking as soon as I go home postgrad getting off of this is going to be priority #1.

Does anyone have thoughts? Similar/different experiences? Does this sound like it's not seroquel related?

TLDR: I've lost my emotional drive to do things

I can't tolerate Slow FE which I know is the "gentle" brand. And I couldn't tolerate birth control (insomnia + no appetite). Do y'all have any other recommendations for getting iron levels up? I guess I didn't realize how much iron I was really losing since the 160 was after I got my first infusion ever.

Luckily I am deficient enough that my insurance will cover infusions, but I really want to try to maintain it this time.

edit: drop is due to heavy periods