u/YGhostRider666

I will try to keep this short.

My and my ex broke up when my son was 9 months old. She had a breakdown and I tried to be there for her as much as I could. I took a few weeks off work but she wanted me there all the time which wasn't feasible. In the end she went to live with her mum and the relationship failed. She completely changed as a person after my son was born, but this isn't really what this post is about.

From the age of about 5 months I've been having my son on weekends alone. It was difficult and I had many a sleepless night but I managed.

He is now 14 months and I usually have him 2 nights a week. He is happy and we have a good bond.

The problem Is my ex constantly wants updates.

Have I fed him? What did he have?

Has he has a bath? Has he had a nap have i changed him can send her pictures etc etc.

It's being like this since the very beginning. I've recently had enough of her constantly checking up so I replied and said how she doesn't need to constantly check. He is fine and if there are any issues I will let her know.

The response was immediate "I am his mother and it's my right to know how my son is" "when I ask i expect you to tell me.

And...." If you don't keep me updated then you don't see him, simple "

So I feel that I have no choice but to reply to her multiple messages a day.

It's also worth saying that when she looks after him 5 days a week I never ask how is. I drop him off and just say if there are any issues let me know, apart from that we don't speak.

Have any other dad's out there experienced this?

Ignoring her messages she goes mad.

Saying she doesn't need to message she goes mad and says "it's her right to know"

I just reply. I feel I have to.

It's a situation that is annoying the F out of me.

I was using the a50 yesterday and at the very last roundabout about a mile from the motorway it was closed due to an accident. Traffic was diverting though the local village (which was a 7.5 tonne weight limit).

I went through the village and then back onto the motorway. The non 7.5 tonne route would have meant doing a 180 and travelling back approximately 10 miles and finding a different route. Did I break the law here? Or would the main carriageway being closed have being a good enough reason to use a weight limit?

I currently have my son 3 nights a week and he is with his mum the other 4.

During the 4 nights she has him we rarely communicate.

When I do have him she is constantly messaging me.

Has he had his tea?

Had he had a bath?

When did he last have a bottle?

How did he sleep?

I should give him this, I should take him for a walk etc

At first I told her she doesn't need to ask about him constantly. I said he is safe with me, he is well looked after and there is no need to message (this didn't go down well)

The reply was basically" I am his mother and I have a right to know how my son is"

Now I just reply to her to keep things civil. If I ignore her or say she doesn't need to ask.. She will fly off the handle.

Honestly?

Am I being the bad one here for wanting to ignore her. I have a message drafted up saying I will contact her only if something is wrong. Apart from that he is fine and being looked after. I know if I send it she will fly off the handle and again.

I have a right to know how my son is.

Am I the bad one here?