TIFU by embarrassing myself during a hookup
I (21f) met a guy at a bar and after talking for a bit I gave him my instagram.
He saw that I was following a friend of his and it turned out that he’s friends with my flatmate, who I’m now pretty good friends with.
We got on pretty well and I went back to his place with him.
At some point he asked me to go down on him.
My brain immediately went to all of the times my friends have told me that men have refused to go down on them. Felt like I was in an adult version of thats so raven.
So, I told him I wasn’t going to go down on him unless he went down on me first.
So he went down on me. That part was fine.
Then it was my turn to go down on him.
But I had never actually gone down on a guy before and I had no idea what to do.
There was a moment of deep uncomfortable awkwardness where I just sort of stared at him, because I had no idea what to do or say.
I felt like my mouth had suddenly turned into the Sahara desert.
If I went down on this man he was going to get the cheese grater experience.
So, I panicked and told him I lied and that I had no intention of going down on him.
He was not happy. I went home.
It’s only when I got home that I remembered that he’s friends with my flatmate. I don’t know what level of friendship they are, but I have a horrible feeling that she’s going to find out.
I’m considering confessing to her, because shes nice and we’ve gotten pretty close at this point. I’m an extremely horrible liar and she’s going to ask me what I got up to last night anyway, since she knows I went out.
I also posted this on r/offmychest but that was like the bare bones of what happened and tbh I’m still shaken from it all and felt like rambling to get over my embarrassment.
I genuinely think this might haunt me forever
I’m also debating just blocking the guy entirely and denying any anti dick sucking allegations that come my way.
TLDR I embarrassed myself during a hookup by panicking and refusing to go down on the guy after he went down on me