u/Weary-Excitement7315

I have struggled with eating disorders for as long as I can remember — literally since I was old enough to actively form thoughts. (Yor pain is valid, no matter how long you have been struggeling)

Over the years, I’ve been through anorexia, binge eating, bulimia, and orthorexia (not an official diagnosis, but you know what I mean). I’ve been hospitalized multiple times, seen countless therapists, and lost track of how often I promised myself I would “get better” without anything actually changing.

For a long time, I genuinely thought my case was hopeless. I had been struggling for so many years. On top of that, I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes when I was 2 years old, so I was always forced to pay close attention to food and numbers, which made everything even more complicated.

But I was wrong.

I’m now 26 years old and working in a kindergarten. One of the kids celebrated their birthday recently and brought homemade muffins for everyone.

And in that moment, I almost started crying.

Because all I could think about was how happy I was for that child and how excited I was to eat the muffin. Not a single part of my brain was worrying about calories, weight, or “earning” it first.

Two years ago, I would rather have died than eat a muffin without panicking.

And suddenly I had this weird thought like, “lol, there was a time when this would have been absolutely impossible.”

I felt so incredibly grateful for how far I’ve come.

Recovery is possible. Even when you think you’re too far gone. Even when you’ve been sick for most of your life.

There is so much more to life.

​

I just want to leave this here because for some it might be helpful and empowering:

I have struggled with eating disorders for as long as I can remember — literally since I was old enough to actively form thoughts.

I’ve been through anorexia, binge eating, bulimia, and orthorexia (not an official diagnosis, but you know what I mean). I’ve been hospitalized multiple times, seen countless therapists, and lost track of how often I promised myself I would “get better” without anything actually changing.

For a long time, I genuinely thought my case was hopeless. I had been struggling for so many years. On top of that, I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes when I was two years old, so I was always forced to pay attention to food and numbers.

I’m now 28 years old and working in a kindergarten. Recently, one of the kids celebrated their birthday and brought homemade muffins for everyone.

in that moment, I didn’t think about calories even once.

I was just happy. Happy for the child, happy about the muffin, happy about the moment. I ate it completely normally without even noticing that this used to be impossible for me.

It only hit me afterwards, long after the muffins had already been handed out and eaten. I suddenly thought:

“Wait… a few years ago this would have absolutely destroyed me.”

Two years ago, I would rather have died than eat a muffin without panicking.

And realizing that I hadn’t even thought about it in the moment almost made me cry afterwards.

Recovery is possible. Even when you think you’re too far gone. Even when you’ve been sick for most of your life.

I genuinely never thought I would get here, but life can be SO much more joyful if you get to the point where you see the first progress.