u/Wasssuprayray

I’m a 23F Chinese and he’s a 26M Slovenian. We met on tinder, but we’re both the kind of people who’s looking for serious relationships. In the beginning we got close really fast coz we vibe with each other, he showed great interest and energy e.g changed his wallpaper to my selfie and writing essays to apologize to me at 1am for not responding much during the day coz he was busy (he could see i was upset by that)

We started talking online since last July, but didn’t meet until October because he was busy traveling China( not just like randomly traveling around, he got his plans on everything for hiking and photography, which is his biggest hobby). We had a couple of fights during that time already because he always just disappeared for a day because he was sleeping on mountains or hiking or anything, I didn’t like that, I felt like no matter how busy he was, he could still send a message or two, sometimes he just randomly dropped a picture he took during the day, no other words were attached, I got irritated also by that, coz it felt like he got nothing to say to me. So I fought with him, accusing him for not being consistent, and there was a lot of hate speech because I thought he was playing with my feelings, but he only care to explain every time I was obviously lashing out already, then he would just explain himself and wanted us to end things there already seeing I behave like that. I apologized, suggesting we start talking again when he finally got time to meet. He agreed.

So time went by to October, he liked one of my posts in October, so I dmed him again, asking how’s it going and suggested to meet, it was all smooth until we met irl when I noticed he doesn’t even talk much or touch me much as he described he would when we talking online. Then he was defending himself by saying that he’s just an introverted person and shy that’s just how he is, but he never told me those things to me back when we were talking online. The thing drove me crazy was that he constantly mentioning his best friend who’s a woman and how close they’re with each other, and he kept saying that we aint compatible because we don’t share the same hobbies.

All im saying here is back in July he could understand me REALLY well like he could read my mind and so thoughtful about my minor thoughts even just during texts, but once we get to meet irl it’s whole different image he’s presenting me:
Has social anxiety, doesn’t talk much, doesn’t touch me much, doesn’t like public intimacy, doesn’t tell ppl around him about us, put more importance on hiking and photography than me. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong so i had major emotional breakdowns so i even chased him out from my apartment on my bday, we were both crying like idiots that day. I felt bad afterwards so I started to lower my gesture, i just got a new job during that period, and I was constantly asking for leaves because I wanted to go meet him up in other cities ( he was continuing his hiking trips after leaving my city) ; but he would told me he’s pissed at me for interrupting his plans, that im selfish and disrespectful. I hated hiking personally, but for spending more time with him, I hiked a whole day with him, I couldn’t stop crying at the end of the day asking does he even love me or i was just acting like a clown myself doing all those stupid things to prove my love to him, he kept comforting me while we were standing in the middle of the road, many ppl were just looking at us and he said: everyone here passed by us if they saw your face, they would know that i pissed u off really bad.

I still wanted to leave him, the uncertainty he gave me drove me crazy, but he started to cry when I decided to leave overnight by taxi to go back and telling me he was just acting he doesn’t care much because he was too afraid to get hurt once he got back. But when we separated, he would send 0 messages for a whole day, ofc i lashed out again, but he would just told me he was feeling depressed because of our situations, and telling me he was actually happy that I showed up to disrupt his plans.. I am so confused

I’m a 23F Chinese and he’s a 26M Slovenian. We met on tinder, but we’re both the kind of people who’s looking for serious relationships. In the beginning we got close really fast coz we vibe with each other, he showed great interest and energy e.g changed his wallpaper to my selfie and writing essays to apologize to me at 1am for not responding much during the day coz he was busy (he could see i was upset by that)

We started talking online since last July, but didn’t meet until October because he was busy traveling China( not just like randomly traveling around, he got his plans on everything for hiking and photography, which is his biggest hobby). We had a couple of fights during that time already because he always just disappeared for a day because he was sleeping on mountains or hiking or anything, I didn’t like that, I felt like no matter how busy he was, he could still send a message or two, sometimes he just randomly dropped a picture he took during the day, no other words were attached, I got irritated also by that, coz it felt like he got nothing to say to me. So I fought with him, accusing him for not being consistent, and there was a lot of hate speech because I thought he was playing with my feelings, but he only care to explain every time I was obviously lashing out already, then he would just explain himself and wanted us to end things there already seeing I behave like that. I apologized, suggesting we start talking again when he finally got time to meet. He agreed.

So time went by to October, he liked one of my posts in October, so I dmed him again, asking how’s it going and suggested to meet, it was all smooth until we met irl when I noticed he doesn’t even talk much or touch me much as he described he would when we talking online. Then he was defending himself by saying that he’s just an introverted person and shy that’s just how he is, but he never told me those things to me back when we were talking online. The thing drove me crazy was that he constantly mentioning his best friend who’s a woman and how close they’re with each other, and he kept saying that we aint compatible because we don’t share the same hobbies.

All im saying here is back in July he could understand me REALLY well like he could read my mind and so thoughtful about my minor thoughts even just during texts, but once we get to meet irl it’s whole different image he’s presenting me:
Has social anxiety, doesn’t talk much, doesn’t touch me much, doesn’t like public intimacy, doesn’t tell ppl around him about us, put more importance on hiking and photography than me. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong so i had major emotional breakdowns so i even chased him out from my apartment on my bday, we were both crying like idiots that day. I felt bad afterwards so I started to lower my gesture, i just got a new job during that period, and I was constantly asking for leaves because I wanted to go meet him up in other cities ( he was continuing his hiking trips after leaving my city) ; but he would told me he’s pissed at me for interrupting his plans, that im selfish and disrespectful. I hated hiking personally, but for spending more time with him, I hiked a whole day with him, I couldn’t stop crying at the end of the day asking does he even love me or i was just acting like a clown myself doing all those stupid things to prove my love to him, he kept comforting me while we were standing in the middle of the road, many ppl were just looking at us and he said: everyone here passed by us if they saw your face, they would know that i pissed u off really bad.

I still wanted to leave him, the uncertainty he gave me drove me crazy, but he started to cry when I decided to leave overnight by taxi to go back and telling me he was just acting he doesn’t care much because he was too afraid to get hurt once he got back. But when we separated, he would send 0 messages for a whole day, ofc i lashed out again, but he would just told me he was feeling depressed because of our situations, and telling me he was actually happy that I showed up to disrupt his plans.. I am so confused