Am I (F25) interpreting the bodylanguage of my doctor (M38) wrong?
I'm 25, and I recently had surgery on my nose for medical reasons, performed by an ENT specialist who I estimate is just over 10 years older than me. I'd like some help making sense of the dynamic that developed throughout the consultations, because ever since yesterday's final consultation it's been stuck in my head.
During the first consultations he was ice cold. No smile, no small talk, purely professional. I adapted to that and kept things professional as well. I have a strong suspicion that he is somewhere on the autism spectrum. Just before the surgery I told him I was incredibly nervous, after which he reassured me. During the surgery I had packing placed in my nose to catch the bleeding, which meant I could only breathe through my mouth, and this led to panic attacks in the days that followed. Long story short: I ended up having them removed by my GP on a Sunday evening because I couldn't take it anymore, even though I already had an appointment with his assistant on a public holiday — an earlier appointment I had managed to get after calling multiple times. I still went to that appointment anyway, because a GP isn't a specialist and I wanted to make sure everything was okay. The assistant wasn't thrilled about having to come in on a public holiday, essentially for nothing. I apologized and explained my side of the situation.
Going into the next consultation with the ENT specialist, I was nervous, thinking he might be annoyed about what had happened with his assistant. But he laughed — for the first time — brought up the incident himself and found it amusing. Because he was more open, I could also be more myself. I'm naturally enthusiastic and I like bringing a bit of humor into a conversation. This created a fun dynamic. I also sincerely thanked him for the surgery and said something along the lines of: "During the first consultation you said you couldn't guarantee that the surgery would deliver the desired result, and I just genuinely want to thank you because I'm so glad I went through with it and that you were able to fix it." He didn't know what to say for a moment, there was a slightly too long silence, he held eye contact with me, and I thought I could read a shy reaction on his face along with a slight flush. After which he quickly moved on to a new medical question.
Yesterday was the final consultation. He came to get me from the waiting room with a smile, and while we were still in the doorway he immediately made a laughing remark about the packing — something along the lines that I certainly wouldn't be letting them put it in a second time. I also happened to be a bit more playful than usual because just before the appointment I had given a presentation that had been really well received. After he removed the last stitches from my nose, I laughingly asked him whether I needed another CT scan. He said that would be unnecessary radiation, to which I replied: "I just thought it would be fun to have a before-and-after photo." He laughed at that. Throughout the consultation I had the feeling he was trying to stay in his professional role, but that his body language sometimes gave him away. Whenever I said something that fell outside his standard script, he didn't quite know how to respond, became a bit clumsy, and awkwardly fell back on medical questions. It was my last consultation and I won't need to come back.
I genuinely felt a certain playful tension, a sense of him being charmed and disarmed, but I can't tell if I'm projecting. It's hard to put into words because it was mostly non-verbal — energy, body language, and dynamic.
I walked out with a strange but slightly euphoric or flattered feeling. Normally I don't read into these things, especially not with a doctor. But the shift from his initial coldness to what I felt yesterday was so stark and unexpected that it just stayed with me.
What are some possible explanations for this shift in his behavior?
How do you explain the shyness and blushing after the personal thank-you, or the awkward behavior? As a doctor, shouldn't he be used to receiving thank-yous, or talking to or touching young women? And how do I make sense of this dynamic?