I don’t want to talk or be around my girlfriend anymore.
We are both teenagers in hs and I’m kinda going through a rough spot rn, I’m depressed I’m failing my classes and I’m worried about my sobriety (alcohol) because every other time I was like this that was the only thing that made it better. I’m having really terrible urges to drink and I hate myself when I do so it will only make it worse. I don’t even know why I am so low right now, but anyway I haven’t seen my gf in maybe 2 weeks and I don’t want to. I want to see my best friend that’s the only person I want to be around right now and they live a few states away. It is me and my gfs 1 year anniversary today, and I feel guilty because I’m not even happy today I feel like a horrible girlfriend and maybe I am. Last time we scheduled a hang out I didn’t want to, but I thought once I was there I would have fun, and I just didn’t. I made up some dumb excuses to go home the next day and yeah I feel really bad about it. But I don’t know I’ve been thinking about breaking up with her in the back of my mind for a long time I don’t know what’s keeping me, she’s not a great person and I know that but I fell in love with her before I realized. Anyway I’m fucking sad and I’ve been staring at my missing assignments trying to find motivation to do them I just needed to write out how I feel I guess.