If your parents were neglectful in your youth, did you become no contact with them when you got older?
My therapist didn't understand why I wanted to see or talk to my dad. My dad was pretty shitty in my youth. He's not as "bad" older, but he still expects some type of perfection. It's very draining. My mom just always loved me, no conditions.
I've been no contact with him since my mom's passing last year. He was no support. He promised to come up to help with sorting all her stuff. Then canceled the next day. Just made me realize he couldn't even be a parent, couldn't dare go over and beyond.
I am still just depressed with grief. I also remember how mean he was to my mom. He also married a wife that treat me nothing but shitty. Never stood up for me when she would tear apart anything I said. I learned to be completely silent when near her.
I am just dealing with whether I ever want to talk to him again. I do feel like an orphan. I have no other family, so it's extremely isolating.