u/Tiny-Confidence5898

Just venting I guess…I’m not really sure. For the record I do NOT support anything in the second paragraph and find it absolutely disgusting and absurd that this is happening.

It’s come out online and on CNN that there is a website where men are posting content about 🍇ing their partners and talking online to people about it.

I keep having intrusive thoughts about “what if I’m somehow on the list of people that have visited this website” “what if I visited this website and didnt know that I did” even though I know for a FACT I would NEVER engage in these types of activities as they go against all of my morals. And I am a SA survivor as are many people I’m surrounded by. Like I feel like my brain just keeps circling back to those what ifs and I can’t get them out of my mind.

Idk what to do.

I wasn’t really sure what flair to use because it’s sorta venting/ a question/needing support. I’m not trying to seek medical advice from users. Just a genuine question on other people’s experiences and what COPING SKILLS have helped them.

Key things involved:

- I’m diagnosed as autistic.

- I struggle with ruminating thoughts

- I’m going back to therapy bc of intrusive thoughts

Due to my struggle with ruminating, I can’t stop thinking about my intrusive thoughts and topics that I want to talk about with my therapist. It’s like an endless cycle. The more I think about it (even without meaning to) the more distress I feel. But it’s like I can’t stop thinking about it because I have this looming appointment time over my head. And my mind is just like…pushing this idea that I have a specific mental illness and I can’t stop researching it and reading about it and stuff.

My question is: has anyone experienced something like this before and was there anything the helped ease your mind/ruminating (like specific coping skills) until you were able to talk to a professional about it?