AITA for considering breaking up w my bf due to no physical attraction?
my bf and I have been together for a month. we were friends for a bit before he confessed that he liked me. I have always felt a lack of chemistry or butterflies which is new to me because in my previous relationship I used to feel "sparks"? if that makes sense. my friends told me not to rely on those feelings because it might be anxiety and fear. love should feel peaceful. FYI my previous relationship was lowkey toxic.
I wouldn't say he's my type physically but he's so kind and considerate. but I don't feel comfortable opening up sexually to him not because I have unresolved trauma or wtv but because of who he is. I am his first gf and I know he was trying to get a gf and got lucky w me. sometimes I think he's a lil traditional and slow. whenever I go out he asks me a thousand questions, not to be controlling but js to know. he also wants to tag along wherever I go. he also asks the same question over n over. he keeps jokingly asking for my account and says give me yours n I will give u mine but i kept dodging and then said no cause it's too early. one day he was talking about how his previous crush was in his friends university and said, "it's her loss, brb I'll be crying on the side." I got pissed naturally and asked him why he would say that in front of his gf. he cried and apologized and said it was just a joke.
one day, a few girls hit on him and he told me that he has a surprise. I asked him what it was and he told me about these girls hitting on him. idk it just seemed like it was a prize? I have no better way to describe it. he says shit like since I was in an all boys school I want to interacte w girls more but dw I'll be loyal, you are my only girl bsf.I feel like I'm overanalyzing because when guys hit on me, I do show it to him but it's more like in a joking way. one day I posted on my story and he said things like why did u post, any reason? and I told him it's becauseI can post wtv i want and felt pretty. he then backtracked and told me he wasn't being controlling js curious. he then added that I look pretty everyday. when I posted another story he's like oh ur gonna get hit on again, stay safe, I dont want someone else to kidnap you, some bs like that. It gives me the feeling that he's awkward and maybe insecure?
there are 2 major points tho. first being the fact that he always kinda manhandles me and tickles me and is a lil rough. I told him I didn't like it when he tickled me to which he continued to do so and I got mad and pulled at his shirt to stop. I gave him a tiny scratch not on purpose and he kept whining. this is funny because he has long nails and i always ask him to cut them cause it's icky. he also was carrying my bags and tried to pick me up but couldn't. he then looked at me asked me what my weight was. I got hurt naturally and he said that he was js curious and couldn't carry my cause of the bags or maybe it was cause I didn't want him to carry me which wasn't true. srcond being, I was his first kiss and it was bad. he kept trying to kiss me in the cab and public places which I wasn't comfy with. he was going in too strong, putting his tongue immediately and everything. I tried to make him go slow and teach him but he js couldn't. he also keeps asking me if I love him. I already told him it's too early and if I did, I would tell him but he keeps asking me whenever we meet.
idk what to do. he is a nice guy, I do like him but I just don't feel anything for him like that. he's everything I want on paper but I feel like there is something missing. my friends say that he's a good guy and I just need to get more comfy w him. idk if I can find such a guy again and feel terrible for letting something so trivial affect me but honestly idk what i should do.