u/ThrowRAFlat_Bid_1682

I am considering applying for a PhD in Australia in the field of Artificial Intelligence. There are loads of really interesting projects that I have found but I'm worried about my chances of actually getting funding as a non-resident.

I have a masters degree from King's College London for wich I got the highest possible mark and conducted a research project. I've also worked for 4 years as a Data Scientist which includes a 4 month stint for an Australian start-up while on a working holiday visa. I would think this would make me a good candidate, but I'm not sure how competitive funding is for international student.

My gf and I tried to move abroad together 1 year ago for my job and it failed miserably. She really struggled and since arriving it was like a switch for out relationship. We have had so many set backs and she decided she couldn't handle it anymore and moved home. The plan was that I would see out my job for another 6 months then move back to join her.

However, after just one month of long distance she has admitted that she is very nervous about me coming to join her. She loves me and wants it to work, but for the first time in a year she is settled and not stressed every day. She is worried that I will come and put her back in the mindset we were in here. I would also need to get a visa through her which I think is triggering trauma because of how awful the experiece was here for her. After a really tough few weeks of going around in circles having difficult unresolved conversations, we decided to try couples therapy.

I thought this gave a bit of a timeline to get things back on track but the day before our first session she admited that she felt like she has nothing left to give to work on things, that she was mostly doing it for me because she loves me, and that she feels guilty about how unsure she is. She actually broke up with me but then a minute later said she was unsure and would give therapy a chance. I also agreed to come visit her in a month which made her feel better working on things before then.

We have agreed to take some space, check-in once per week and continue with therapy. She thought the first session went well and agreed to do more, but with things unchanged between us outside of therapy I can't help but worry.

I am very anxious. I feel like I am now single handledly holding the relationship together. I am OK with giving her space after what was a really stressful time for her, but I am also now starting to feel really burnt out with carrying the relationship and constantly worrying if every time we talk she will end things. Outside of therapy I'm not really getting much from her. She is colder when we speak which I struggle with because for our entire relationship she was always very affectionate. I don't know if I should try to communicate that this isn't working for me and I need to see at least some more effort from her, or try to hold in, give her the space and let therapy do its job for a month, then go out to see her.

I am very worried about the trip now as it is a 25 hour flight. Needless to say if things don't go well the return trip will be a very grim experience.

tldr: After a really difficult year abroad that strained our relationship, my girlfriend moved back home and we went long distance. Now, just a month in, she says she feels drained, has “nothing left to give,” and is unsure about seeing a future together. We nearly broke up but decided to give couples therapy a chance. We’re doing therapy and giving each other space, but outside of sessions she’s distant and I feel like I’m the only one holding things together. I’m anxious, burnt out, and unsure whether to keep giving her space and follow through with visiting her in a month, or speak up and say this situation isn’t sustainable for me if I don't see some changes soon.

My gf and I tried to move abroad together 1 year ago for my job and it failed miserably. She really struggled and since arriving it was like a switch for out relationship. We have had so many set backs and she decided she couldn't handle it anymore and moved home. The plan was that I would see out my job for another 6 months then move back to join her.

However, after just one month of long distance she has admitted that she is very nervous about me coming to join her. She loves me and wants it to work, but for the first time in a year she is settled and not stressed every day. She is worried that I will come and put her back in the mindset we were in here. I would also need to get a visa through her which I think is triggering trauma because of how awful the experiece was here for her. After a really tough few weeks of going around in circles having difficult unresolved conversations, we decided to try couples therapy.

I thought this gave a bit of a timeline to get things back on track but the day before our first session she admited that she felt like she has nothing left to give to work on things, that she was mostly doing it for me because she loves me, and that she feels guilty about how unsure she is. She actually broke up with me but then a minute later said she was unsure and would give therapy a chance. I also agreed to come visit her in a month which made her feel better working on things before then.

We have agreed to take some space, check-in once per week and continue with therapy. She thought the first session went well and agreed to do more, but with things unchanged between us outside of therapy I can't help but worry.

I am very anxious. I feel like I am now single handledly holding the relationship together. I am OK with giving her space after what was a really stressful time for her, but I am also now starting to feel really burnt out with carrying the relationship and constantly worrying if every time we talk she will end things. Outside of therapy I'm not really getting much from her. She is colder when we speak which I struggle with because for our entire relationship she was always very affectionate. I don't know if I should try to communicate that this isn't working for me and I need to see at least some more effort from her, or try to hold in, give her the space and let therapy do its job for a month, then go out to see her.

I am very worried about the trip now as it is a 25 hour flight. Needless to say if things don't go well the return trip will be a very grim experience.

tldr: After a really difficult year abroad that strained our relationship, my girlfriend moved back home and we went long distance. Now, just a month in, she says she feels drained, has “nothing left to give,” and is unsure about seeing a future together. We nearly broke up but decided to give couples therapy a chance. We’re doing therapy and giving each other space, but outside of sessions she’s distant and I feel like I’m the only one holding things together. I’m anxious, burnt out, and unsure whether to keep giving her space and follow through with visiting her in a month, or speak up and say this situation isn’t sustainable for me if I don't see some changes soon.