u/ThisSelection7585

hi all. it’s tough writing this but my every-3-months scans showed activity on the last one (PETscan) I’ve had chemo, surgery and maintenance since Oct 2025. I felt great, labs were good. The active spots are a lymph node and a tiny nodule. we decided to stop infusions and start Hernexeos. anyone have any experience with this? I just took first dose today….just wondering when side effects started for you and anything else you can share: tips, wisdom, warnings, etc. TIA

Our son (17) is finishing his final HS classes online because he’s found his ideal job. Hes a deckhand on a charter and loves it. He gets good pay and is learning a lot. He goes on most all the multi day trips (2-3 day) Today we wanted to text him during the time the boat is coming in to let him know some banking info he wanted arrived in the mail. We’d either drive it to him or mail it. We saw he was not on the boat when it went back out. he didn’t call to say ‘hey I have a couple days off suddenly’ We texted casually asking how it’s going and that his bank stuff arrived. no replies. my husband calls, no answer. second call he answers . he says they made him take a break on this trip. sounds reasonable. we asked why he didn’t come home then as he’s got a pet we really don’t want to be dealing with , he’s got other friends here, and it’s near his birthday. He says he saw a chance to go on a trip rather than work a trip. also sounds reasonable. he already had one of his friends out there. we are just feeling like he doesn’t miss us or home or his pet and almost want to ask but this could be normal/natural self centered teen growing up and we dont want to cause trouble if there really isn’t. we have done a lot for him and perhaps that’s part of the issue, he might just want that space and independence. We miss him as it is but this hurts more. any thoughts?

Over the years my mom has remained difficult to talk to, she’s now 80 and I’m looking at 60. She will ruin moments with her perceived actions or comments that could’ve hurt my brothers feelings. My husband & I (years ago when we were dating) gave my brother a fridge , gently used, and I hear from my mom that we bought 2 steaks and made my brother feel bad for pointing out that the strudel bread at this same deli is expensive. Nothing about the free fridge and delivering it to his apartment, but a jab that my husband (boyfriend) and I bought 2 steaks. We gave him a fridge, were we supposed to stock it for him?!? I don’t share anything about going out to a nice place for a meal because when I shared we went to Ruth’s Chris for my birthday she replies “that dinner would’ve bought a weeks worth of groceries for your brother.” What am I supposed to do or say?!? Undigest my dinner?

The recent zinger was we were on the phone she said she imagined I had errands to get to, I said laundry, she says “lucky you, and I mean it, your brother had to give up 2 hours of his day to go to the laundromat” Again, how does one respond? I’m lucky because we opted for a washer and dryer instead of concert tickets and more tattoos and we have the privilege of paying when the washer and dryer need servicing? We actually gave my mom my condo-sized washer and dryer which she never set up so I guess I missed asking why they don’t use it. My point is I’m caught off guard by some of her comments, kind of backhanded, and now even laundry elicits a jab comment. I guess the pause got to her as she asked if I was still on the line! I just talk to her once a month now because it’s a drag trying to avoid a jab, or being left at a loss for a response.

my team emphasized the skin and nail issues with Hernexeos . more than any other side effect they said care for the skin, hands and nails, any splits cuts etc. I have cuticles that need a lot of care, any suggestions for super protecting hands with bad/dry cuticles? maybe those hand masks? I gave tons of creams and lotions all different …

watch n wait turned into cancelling maintenance infusions today and switching to to target therapy (Hernexeos) Scans (PET) showed activity in the two inconclusive spots, suggesting progression. ive done chemo (platinum based) and surgery. we knew it was possible, but it happened sooner than we thought. I was almost at 1 year since all this, almost 1 year since diagnosis. anyone got words of experience from having to switch to target therapy?

We are the owners of an easement that grants ingress/egress to the next door neighbor. she has left the gates open, kept 4-5 trshcsns in it, has recently come to say we can’t block their easement, tries to dictate how the easement is used despite paperwork, says we are blocking their access though they did long term parking of vehicles and a trailer! I showed her the paperwork for non exclusive easement which means both can use(even though it’s our property) She claimed she was getting an easement attorney and the city involved to which I said good maybe it needs to be revisited!! they’ve abused the terms by keeping trash cans and pool chemical buckets and long term parking which kept us from use…now suddenly she’s got an issue with us putting our vehicle in the inner easement where they can still park behind it and they’d actually block us in.

Have any of you nearly lost it with cancer-free people throwing around ideas of “unliving themselves” while we are doing everything to live? I’ve not shared my diagnosis with my mom, brother, or niece because they are ridiculously anxiety riddled over anything. my mom gets a brush clearance notice from the fire dept just over inspections and she’s having a near medical emergency, stating “they scare me. they really literally scare me” My young niece said she was thinking of her friend who ended her own life and thinks about it herself! says she’s also thinking about another friend who tried to kill himself. I asked what’s going on that such young people want to end their lives. I said they haven’t lived long enough to appreciate life, and I asked if she knew anyone with cancer. of course not. she said her friend who attempted to end his life is mourning his mom. when I asked was he going to get help or just keep scaring his friends with these attempts.,my niece replied no, he’s not seeking help because he doesn’t trust doctors or therapists.

So she has an answer for everything. I was very close to sharing my diagnosis so she’d see what’s really a major life crisis and when I’m doing everything to stay living it irks me no end to hear this ‘unliving’ talk! I’m not trying to discredit her feelings but this has been going on with them, they don’t get help but talk about “unliving”. I’m sure if they knew they wouldnt say it to me but telling them would send them over the edge (and guilt me for sending them). Anyone deal with anything similar?