u/They_love_meeee

So I 15 F and my dad 36 M DO NOT have a good relationship. He left my mom when I was 2 and has been hopping in and out of my life like a game of peek-a-boo.

I haven’t seen my dad in person since I was about 13 and I am actually the happiest I’ve been in my life. I have an amazing boyfriend, my mental health is better than ever, and I got my first job.

Now my dad had my little sister when I was 12 and didn’t tell me that I was going to have a little sister until the night she was born and expected me to be ok with it. Since I’m a people pleaser I told him I was really happy even though I seriously wasn’t. Then almost a year ago he had a son with the same woman and didn’t tell me yet again, I found out via TikTok. I don’t even know my little brother’s name.

So for the last almost 3 years I watched him from social media be the best dad to his new kids and step daughter who is a year younger than me. Practically leaving me in the dust. I try not to think about it because it makes me cry and I’m crying while typing this at the moment.

Back to the story, my sweet 16 is coming up and in my family it’s tradition to have the 16 most important people in your life light a candle on a candle holder thingy and you give a speech about why that person is important to you. I posted on my Snapchat story a picture of my notebook in my lap with the list of people who are getting a candle and almost instantly my dad replied to it. Asking me why he wasn’t on that list.

I told him “he didn’t make the cut” and he got pissed. We argued and before I hung up I told him “since you didn’t fail your other daughters like you did me, they’ll have a candle fresh and ready for you”. He’s been blowing up my phone calling me disrespectful and calling me a little female dog and a racial slur for black people.

Saying how I wouldn’t be here without him and I guess he’s right but I told him “just because he came 16 years ago doesn’t make him entitled to anything when you didn’t put in 15 years of work”.

Now I’ve been getting calls from my extended family on his side saying how hurt he is and how I should “think of his feelings”. I posted a picture of my list again with the caption “I love these people” and he said that he can replace #5, 6, 10, or 16. I don’t know what to do.

SO AITAH?

Here’s my candle list

1. My mom

2. My little sisters dad (he’s been there since I was 6)

3. My grandpa

4. My aunts

5. Boyfriend

6. Boyfriends dad

7. My sister on my mom’s side.

8. My godmother and her boys.

9. My boy best friend

10. My best friend that I’ve know since I was 4

11. My cousin she’s been a day one

12. My great grandmother

13. My uncles

14. My other cousins

15. A one for my grandma who passed when I was 11 and great uncle who passed last year.

So I 15 F have a group of friends let’s call them Callie 15 F, James 16 M, Ellie 16 F, and Luke 16 M. Now I’m the youngest out of all of my friends but we are all really close

Now when I get older I really want to be a brain surgeon, and I’m already making steps towards that goal. I’m talking about honor roll, volunteering in hospitals and such. I even got accepted into the Harvard Medical School Pre-College online certificate program for medicine. So yeah I’m really serious about this.

Now my friends are let’s say back of the classroom kids iykyk and they are always doing things like 🍃and 🥃. And I refuse to do that with them.

They also post their doing on social media. Now the other day we were all hanging out and James and Ellie was posting things of 18+ nature on their social media. Like of them kissing and such. And I was in the background and when I saw I was in the background of the photos I asked them to either delete them or blur me out.

They asked me why and “because I don’t want this to get pointed back to me or on my digital footprint.” This made them mad and stuff and they said that “I’m no better then they are because I got into some dumb\*\*\* program” and how I think that I’m better than them. And I simply responded with “when yall are sitting in a jail cell I’m not going to be with yall”

This made it worst and the others started yelling at me and calling me a “fake b\*\*\*\*” and stuff. I kept telling them about digital footprint and how what they post is going to come back to haunt them. They kept yelling at me so I went home and they all unfollowed me and blocked me.

I’m so confused and want to know if I did anything wrong.

So AITAH