u/The5thEclipse

Cooking burgers and hotdogs for my parents, my wife’s dad, and our nephew because it’s a beautiful day outside. Put on “Electric Sunrise” - Plini for some feel good vibes.

I actually look forward to the day. I love and am so grateful for my wife and pets every day. My new job is a good fit for once, and I’m embracing my interests and hobbies (anime, Pokemon, cooking, digital mapping) rather than feeling ashamed of them or burnt out. I’m putting in the work at therapy and found meds that work for once. Gratitude to my loved ones and taking my puppy out to the dog park have really helped as of late.

Maybe it’s just the great coincidence of everything lining up so well, but I feel some relief from the intense depression, suicidal thoughts, and burnout I’ve been enduring for years.

My wife and I got a text at 10pm from a friend of ours last night that she had just got into a huge fight with her boyfriend and had nowhere to go as far as family. We offered her our spare bedroom for the night with her dog, and she was hysterical/crying the entire time.

I wasn’t prepared emotionally, but I did my best to be a good friend to her and a good husband for my wife by offering late night snacks, water, and reassuring that we will always be there to support friends when they need us in hard times.

Apparently she got arrested at work today because of the incident and we have temporary custody of her dog until the boyfriend or family reaches out to us or something.

Really scared for her and just the situation in general. Grateful though my relationship with my wife is extremely healthy and loving.

Made BBQ coated chicken breasts/pork chops, Mac & Cheese, and some fresh watermelon slices for lunch to recuperate.

I really know how to say this without sounding dramatic, but I’m incredibly lonely. I’m autistic, and even though I communicate clearly and say exactly what I mean, people still act like they don’t understand me—or worse, they talk to me like I’m a child. It makes it really hard to form genuine connections. I try to be open, I try to engage, but it often feels like there’s this invisible barrier between me and everyone else that I can’t break through.

The weird part is, on paper my life is actually pretty good. I like my job because it’s chill and manageable. I have a home, a wife of 10 years I love , and pets that make me happy. But even with all of that, there’s this constant underlying sadness that doesn’t go away. I don’t feel like I have real friends, and every attempt to connect ends up feeling hollow or uncomfortable, like I’m being misunderstood or subtly talked down to. I don’t know how to fix that, and it’s exhausting to keep trying. Some days it’s so exhausting I want to disappear forever.

I cooked porks ribs, Mac n cheese, and grilled corn for lunch

Purified preferred, but regular shiny is fine as well.