u/Terrible-Meet-5051

Where are there less of them?
And ppl with toxic envy?

I’m a hot redhead so the struggle is real. I legit couldn’t even hold down a job

Help me

In my imagination you, or a couple people in my life, loved me. Maybe they said “there was love between us,” or “I love you.” Maybe they gave me a place to live, or I them. Maybe we shared fun moments.

However, the reality is, I attracted the type of men who loved themselves.

The only time you cared about girls you dated, twin, was when they started self harming, or, like me, you thought they would. Or if I threatened to leave.

I misconstrued it as empathy. You are very emotional, twin. But it’s emotions of self pity, anxiety, and shame. If you cared about how others actually felt, you wouldn’t have done or said the things you did that led so many to nearly self harming, or running away, in your midst.

You know, I didn’t deserve your hidden cameras, ignoring my requests to solve black mold, the verbal denigration based on my insecurities, attempts to make me jealous. I def didn’t deserve the gaslighting while you moved my items around, including my pearls. Nor did I deserve the fake police report.

I also didn’t deserve how offended you acted when I eventually gave you back your own behaviors, twin.

Nor did I deserve hearing about you stalking a girl at the super arcade bar, who happened to be in middle school. It’s incredible the lies you had, while your actions almost always were the opposite. Creep.

I deserve way better than you, twin. We both know it. I’m a good person, and you, just aren’t. Maybe you aren’t always as loud as your father, but you and your nasty family, are enmeshed, and he controls you, and your relationships. You are becoming him and his demons are possessing you, the more you take advice and divulge to him.

He doesn’t want you to date bc you are his retirement plan. You want to date because you don’t want to be the scapegoated, exploited one. You want to knock up a woman and make her take the role in your nasty sick family that openly talk about their sexual lives with each other.

Also relationships aren’t about winning and loosing. It’s a partnership. And women nowadays are exhausted.

I was warned by multiple people that, with you, I would have died early, if we married and had kids. You were legit trying to groom me to be your emotional support blanket, punching bag, plan all the dates, do all the cleaning, pay half the rent, and have two kids. Oh and allow your narcissistic family to move in.

Are you kidding me? I’m so glad it didn’t work out.

You can take your red pill and father’s opinion and stick it up your butt, twin.

Ever since the tonsillitis began, I also had thrush in my mouth and down there.

I never tested positive for strep, it was always staph.

Years later, sleep apnea. Cptsd. Then lupus.

I always got all sorts of infections (and seemingly poor sleep when the tonsils acted up.

What’s going on? If I get my tonsils removed will my immune system behave?

I know there’s a reason for this emotionally. I almost always had it flare up when I didn’t speak my truth. Sad thing is, I was mostly in places where speaking my truth is unsafe. I don’t think people realize how oppressed women are in the USA especially pretty women who are also redheads