I asked my psychiatrist for a refill of both my 200 and 25 mg a week ago and she said we were all set but never sent it in. Now she’s unexpectedly on leave for two weeks without any notice, and I’m almost out of meds. What do I do?? I know I can get an emergency supply from the pharmacy, but I doubt I can get enough to last 2 weeks.
To be honest, I’m really struggling over this right now. Let me preface this with an obligatory “I love my brother, he’s amazing, and he’s completely different now”, because if I don’t say that I panic.
My primary abuser, which is a term I’m still struggling to use, from ages maybe 4-12, was my older brother. Not to go into too much detail, but it included confinement, suffocation, drowning, etc. repeatedly. It was framed as something called the “escape game”, and I genuinely just saw it all as a game until somewhat recently. While it wasn’t the only form of abuse or neglect I encountered in my childhood, it was by far the earliest, and I suspect had a major role in the formation of the disorder.
20 years later, my brother and I are incredibly close. We bond all the time over our harmful experiences with our parents, how messed up childhood was, etc.
But my brother also struggles with dissociative amnesia, as well as the results of ECT for depression. He barely remembers anything prior to college, and definitely not early childhood. He’s passively suicidal, incredibly depressed, and is generally in a very bad place. I’m a main pillar of support for him and I love him with all my heart, he’s an incredibly cool person. I’ve looked up to him my entire life and even now, after reframing the escape game, I can’t hold him at fault for it.
I also can’t EVER let him know what he did, because of how close we are-I’m terrified it will lead him to commit suicide.
Does anyone have advice on how to deal with being very close to your original abuser? It’s such a weird, delicate situation, and I genuinely do love him so much- but younger parts either idolize him or are terrified of him. It’s this awful seesaw of emotions, and I call him all the time but can’t even remember what we talk about.
I guess I just don’t know how to navigate this.
To be honest, I’m really struggling over this right now. Let me preface this with an obligatory “I love my brother, he’s amazing, and he’s completely different now”, because if I don’t say that I panic.
My primary abuser, which is a term I’m still struggling to use, from ages maybe 4-12, was my older brother. Not to go into too much detail, but it included confinement, suffocation, drowning, etc. repeatedly. It was framed as something called the “escape game”, and I genuinely just saw it all as a game until somewhat recently. While it wasn’t the only form of abuse or neglect I encountered in my childhood, it was by far the earliest, and I suspect had a major role in the formation of the disorder.
20 years later, my brother and I are incredibly close. We bond all the time over our harmful experiences with our parents, how messed up childhood was, etc.
But my brother also struggles with dissociative amnesia, as well as the results of ECT for depression. He barely remembers anything prior to college, and definitely not early childhood. He’s passively suicidal, incredibly depressed, and is generally in a very bad place. I’m a main pillar of support for him and I love him with all my heart, he’s an incredibly cool person. I’ve looked up to him my entire life and even now, after reframing the escape game, I can’t hold him at fault for it.
I also can’t EVER let him know what he did, because of how close we are-I’m terrified it will lead him to commit suicide.
Does anyone have advice on how to deal with being very close to your original abuser? It’s such a weird, delicate situation, and I genuinely do love him so much- but younger parts either idolize him or are terrified of him. It’s this awful seesaw of emotions, and I call him all the time but can’t even remember what we talk about.
I guess I just don’t know how to navigate this.