u/Swimming-Judge1865

I am 23. I was around 8 weeks pregnant mid February. I had an abortion with my boyfriend at the time who is now my ex. He was very supportive.

I’m at a really low point in my life, not only because of the abortion. I regret that decision so fucking much. Does it ever get better? Because I feel worse as time goes on.

I killed a baby, a person. I could have given birth to my son or daughter who could have grown up, gone to school, start a family…

I made such a mistake. I thought it was the right decision at the time. And I hate myself for it.

Hey, so I’m kind of confused. I’ve looked it up but it’s still not making sense lol. I have one little Stanley so far so I need 5(?) more.

I went through the new content door and I found one little Stanley. Once I exited and completed that it asked if I would like to start Stanley parable 2. Now I’m on it, the door has disappeared. How can I get it back? Do I keep completing the simple ending and escape multiple times for it to reappear? And where do I find more little Stanley’s? In the same place??

Trying to platinum the game. I have this trophy and and commitment left.

Thanks:)

Edit: i platinum the game!

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Trigger warning, could be sensitive to some.

I’m only 23. I was living a pretty happy life up until the end of February. My boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me. Without going into the details and to keep it simple, we had a fantastic relationship. Neither of us could say one bad thing about each other. I would happily get back together with him. We haven’t gone no contact completely… occasionally text, seen each other multiple times to talk and he visited me in hospital last week.

Since the break up I’ve been feeling pretty shitty, like everyone does. But over the last few weeks or so I’ve been feeling extremely low…

Why was in hospital? I “accidentally” od on paracetamol. I had to get an IV drip and stayed there overnight. The doctors, my mum and sister were convinced this was an accident. They all seemed to believe me. When my ex came to visit, he was sweet. He asked if I’d eaten and went to go get me a drink and food. Stayed with me a little while. Might sound a little dramatic but he held my hands and that’s the best I have felt in a long time. I could tell he wasn’t believing the fact I did this by accident but I obviously lied to him.

I didn’t leave my bedroom much at all in the last 3 days except to go to the store. Tonight, I went for a drive with the intention of crashing my car. Maybe into a tree or something. I know, that sounds very bad. About a month ago my car got stuck in a ditch. I told the police there was an animal on the road and I swerved but that was a lie.

I don’t have any girl friends. I have my sister but she’s got her own life.

I don’t know what to do or what I want. I just know whatever I’m feeling feels far too heavy to carry on like this. Every day I wake up with that horrible feeling in my chest and dread. I just feel so exhausted. The past weeks are a blur.

I read somewhere about TBI’s and thought about how happy I could be to have retrograde amnesia and forget everything that’s happened lately.

I should probably go to therapy but I’m scared if I tell them about all of this or anyone they’ll send me to a psych hospital.

I wish I could go back in time to two months ago when everything was okay. I will never be that girl again. I never felt or thought like this before.

I don’t feel joy in anything anymore.

I won’t go into the details of the break up but we broke up 2 months ago and have been in contact/seen each lately.

I’ve only masturbated twice in the past two months and each time I think of him…

I feel so guilty and uncomfortable for 1, doing it and 2, thinking of him while I do it.

Has anyone had a similar experience?