u/SuspiciousUpstairs55

Our relationship is overall pretty good but I am starting to get frustrated with our relationship sexually and just in general. It used to be great, for the first year. Now in year 3 it’s like I am dating a completely different woman than the one I initially asked to be my girlfriend.

She is an entrepreneur and has her own business which is by far one of the most admirable trait she has. She is unbelievably hard working and that’s the issue. I work a typical 9-5 corporate job where she works essentially 3 jobs at once. When I get off I am ‘done’ for the day. However, this is when she goes to her second job. She is pretty much working both of her jobs every day of the week and when she is not, she is working on her personal business. Essentially, our schedules are opposite and there are maybe 5-10 realistic hours of the week that any sort of “free” time between us align.

I am very individual person so I don’t mind this too much but i feel like it takes away from our relationship and trying new things. I’ll suggest an activity or restaurant to try and it almost instantly gets shut down. She uses work as an excuse almost every time. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes this is a valid excuse, but she is the type of person to create work when there is no work to do. So even when I know she isn’t officially working she denies my request and creates a new problem to solve.

Most frustratingly this is beginning to toll on our sex life. We are young, very healthy, and yet have sex maybe once every 2 weeks at this point. If I initiate she says no. If I wait for her to initiate, it’ll never happen. If I ASK, I hear “all you want is sex”. Which isn’t even remotely true. I have told her my concern with this dynamic across the past 2 years of our relationship and it’s never been fixed. And before you all assume its not enjoyable on her end, we’ve talked about it and she confirms it is. I will always make her finish before I do. Sometimes I don’t even care to finish myself, I just want to please her and she again denies my request. Its like a lose lose situation.

I don’t even know what to do at this point because if its this bad while we are young and healthy I cant imagine what it’d be like when we are older with actual responsibilities outside just work… i honestly don’t know what to do at this point. Even if I have another conversation with her about it i can guarantee you her response will be “all you want to do is have sex”… at this point it’s almost a childish impulsive response with a lack of respect and understanding… any words of wisdom?

Tl;dr: My girlfriend is working too much, even when she doesn’t have work, she creates it. This is taking a toll on our relationship in many ways, specifically sexually

Our relationship is overall pretty good but I am starting to get frustrated with our relationship sexually and just in general. It used to be great, for the first year. Now in year 3 it’s like I am dating a completely different woman than the one I initially asked to be my girlfriend.

She is an entrepreneur and has her own business which is by far one of the most admirable trait she has. She is unbelievably hard working and that’s the issue. I work a typical 9-5 corporate job where she works essentially 3 jobs at once. When I get off I am ‘done’ for the day. However, this is when she goes to her second job. She is pretty much working both of her jobs every day of the week and when she is not, she is working on her personal business. Essentially, our schedules are opposite and there are maybe 5-10 realistic hours of the week that any sort of “free” time between us align.

I am very individual person so I don’t mind this too much but i feel like it takes away from our relationship and trying new things. I’ll suggest an activity or restaurant to try and it almost instantly gets shut down. She uses work as an excuse almost every time. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes this is a valid excuse, but she is the type of person to create work when there is no work to do. So even when I know she isn’t officially working she denies my request and creates a new problem to solve.

Most frustratingly this is beginning to toll on our sex life. We are young, very healthy, and yet have sex maybe once every 2 weeks at this point. If I initiate she says no. If I wait for her to initiate, it’ll never happen. If I ASK, I hear “all you want is sex”. Which isn’t even remotely true. I have told her my concern with this dynamic across the past 2 years of our relationship and it’s never been fixed. And before you all assume its not enjoyable on her end, we’ve talked about it and she confirms it is. I will always make her finish before I do. Sometimes I don’t even care to finish myself, I just want to please her and she again denies my request. Its like a lose lose situation.

I don’t even know what to do at this point because if its this bad while we are young and healthy I cant imagine what it’d be like when we are older with actual responsibilities outside just work… i honestly don’t know what to do at this point. Even if I have another conversation with her about it i can guarantee you her response will be “all you want to do is have sex”… at this point it’s almost a childish impulsive response with a lack of respect and understanding… any words of wisdom?

Tl;dr: My girlfriend is working too much, even when she doesn’t have work, she creates it. This is taking a toll on our relationship in many ways, specifically sexually