u/Surrealist_artist

...is when people talk to me just because I'm there. I can tolerate interactions that have a clear goal, like someone wanting something specific from me.

For example, "How did you do on that exam?" "I think I did well." "How did you study for it?" "Well, I..." is a acceptable exchange, because the other person has the clear motive "Find out how score better next time". It's impersonal—not about me, but the information being shared.

I dislike when strangers or people in public places talk to me for no clear reason, though. I'm not in the waiting room just to have a chat, I'm here for a appointment, and only that. Is my mere existence enough permission to approach me?

It's one of those opinions that most people would consider strange, I'd likely come across as entitled or whiny. I'd only get a "Oh, it's just a basic social nicety, it's not that bad, just go along with it!" But, I don’t wanna.😣 Do I need to carry a fly swatter and a sign that says "If you try to talk to me I will smack you"? Sometimes I feel like that's the only way to get some peace.

Yesterday I didn't take my meds. And, oh my god. It really sucks how low-fuctioning I am without them.

I woke up and lied in bed in the dark for a few hours, sleeping on and off. Once I physically couldn't sleep any more, I went on my phone. I spent over 12 hours in bed, I only left because I was hungry. After eating I was pretty tired, and thought it wouldn't be worth it to take my meds. I napped on the couch for maybe 2 hours, then went back to bed.

Absolutely no desire to do anything at all. No guilt about it either, just "There are things I could do... but I genuinely don't care about those things...welp, back to bed I guess."

I wish I could figure out exactly what's wrong with my brain. And how to fix it, of course. I have no clue how people stand to do break/off days. Besides for times I was sick, I can't remember any day I've ever purposely skipped my meds. After all, why would I willingly subject myself to this nonsense?