u/Suitable_Piccolo130

(33f) have been married to my (38M) husband for 8 years. I am Black and Latina and my husband is Mexican. When I first met my husband we would frequently eat out. Mainly because at the time we weren’t married and I wasn’t going to do wifey duties for someone I wasn’t married too 😂. When I first met him he was like most typical bachelors in which the food he ate were either fast food being tacos ,pizza, and any of the other typical chain restaurants. However after we got married I obviously started cooking more. I can make just about any dish. Anything from soul food, Mexican, Island,Asian, Indian,Italian. You name it I’ve made it. And even if I’ve never made it I can get it done. Now I’m no professional but I know my way all the way around the kitchen. I’ve been asked by friends and families for me to make them certain things or even if they could have my recipes. I am the one that is responsible for Thanksgiving dinner and most importantly trusted to make the Mac n cheese every year. So again I’m no professional, but I know what I’m doing. Now cooking food isn’t the problem. It’s getting my husband to eat it because we are a multicultural house I try to incorporate that into the kitchen. However, my husband only truly enjoys eating Mexican food and burgers. Don’t get me wrong. I also enjoy Mexican food when I was in high school I could eat it every day, However after years of almost eating it every day or some variation of it I no longer enjoy eating as I once did.

For the past year and a half I have since started to incorporate and cook more foods that I too also enjoy eating. Since starting this if it is not Mexican food or a burger or one of the three other options that my husband is OK with eating that aren’t Mexican food he will complain how he wishes it were Mexican food. I go to work every single day Monday through Friday so it’s not like I’m a stay at home wife and have time to whip up recipes that that take more than 45 minutes to prepare. I’m sorry but I can not eat the same thing every single day. I’m like if you don’t want what I cook by all means go get or make yourself food. To which is always met with “ If I’m working hard to pay rent, I should at least be able to have food for dinner.” Now I know I’ve mentioned how much he loves burgers but get this. Just last night I made meatloaf and he refused to eat it because he doesn’t like meatloaf. I’m like how a burger and meatloaf are literally the same thing. I can’t tell you how many times in the past that I’ve made meatloaf and put it on breading to like a meatloaf sandwich and he devoured it just like a burger. This has started to become a real problem because instead of getting his own food if it’s something he doesn’t like he will just complain. I used to love cooking now I almost dreaded it because I never know what to cook.

We just had a discussion last night on how I married a “Mexican” man and I can’t expect him to not want to eat his culture’s food. Which again I understand but every day though? I feel like if we were living in Mexico where better and more authentic ingredients were available it would be easier to accommodate and incorporate more frequently without feeling that I was eating the same three ingredients for breakfast, lunch and dinner every day. So I’m seeking advice from other women who are also married to men of different nationality or culture than yourself? Do you cook food from their culture everyday? I used to cook two separate meals every day and that quickly got old and expensive.

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u/Suitable_Piccolo130 — 7 days ago

My friend had court today for driving with a suspended license due to unpaid tickets. Today she was given 6 months probation. She goes for her first probation check in next week. The paperwork she filled out in court today asked about drug usage to which she listed none due to being scared that writing down that he smoked weed recently would get her in more trouble since we aren’t in a legal state. After we left court we were going over the paper they gave him at court that has the probation terms listed which are obviously that she wont do drugs or drink alcohol even though her charges are not alcohol or drug related. She doesn’t have a problem agreeing to the terms of not drinking or smoking. Our concern is what happens if she has to take a test her first time ever reporting and fails? She last smoked weed 2 days ago so obviously it’s still maybe in her system next week when she has to go check in for the first time. Should she worried? Since it’s her first time going will they just use that test as a baseline for seeing what she’ll test positive for or how does this go? We don’t know anyone who’s had probation before so new to the whole thing and we are just trying to figure it out. Should she call her probation officer and just let them know in advance that she might fail or just wait until she has to report and say something the day of? We are just worried that if she fails her first ever test if she has one that they will consider her breaking the terms of her probation.

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u/Suitable_Piccolo130 — 8 days ago