u/Sudden-Difficulty988 — reddlx

I 18f hated (but loved) my ex for almost a year he never did anything bad just irritated the living hell out of me, we were not compatible he was too sensitive for me and I was so blunt for him. We argued constantly. Well we broke up in January and I suddenly can’t stop thinking about him, I’ve been stalking his insta, Tik tok, dreaming about him, reminiscing on better times I even miss his family like crazy. Worst thing is I got a boyfriend month ago before all this started, I really like this guy he seems WAY more my type (physically and emotionally) and we get along much better only thing is he is bipolar and causes him to have some anger issues resulting in some crazy arguments, the only thing is even when they are crazy they don’t last even half as long as the silent treatment I got with my ex. Yet I still miss him? Or is it just bittersweet?
I feel it’s important to mention that my exs family was very big loving family and VERY functional, as my current boyfriend is Muslim and I definitely can’t meet his family until we get WAY more serious. And even when I do meet them my bf almost garrentees that they won’t approve of me. While as my exs family mostly really liked me and included me in everything. I didn’t have much of a family growing up, and have been assaulted countless times in my life, but can’t tell if this is some trauma based attachment issue or if I’m jealous of his family?
PLEASE HELP