Feeling uncomfortable about how others look at my wife
Assalaam aleykum,
I’m a Muslim living in a Western country, and I’ve been struggling with something that’s been bothering me for quite a while.
My wife is also Muslim, but she doesn’t wear the hijab. She tells me she’s not ready yet, mainly because of her job. She’s worried about facing discrimination, racism, or even losing her position. She does say that she intends to wear it when the time feels right for her.
The issue is how I feel when we’re out together. Sometimes, when we go to restaurants or shopping, I notice men staring at her. It makes me feel a strong sense of anger to the point where I feel like confronting them. What frustrates me even more is that, in many cases, the men staring are Muslim themselves, not non-Muslims.
Usually, when I catch someone staring, I look back at them in an angry way until they stop. But there was one situation that really stuck with me: my wife told me, after we had already left, that a man had been staring at her repeatedly while we were at a restaurant. She said she tried to look back at him to make him stop, but didn’t tell me at the time. When I heard this later, I felt extremely angry that I hadn’t had the chance to address it in the moment. Even months later, I still think about it sometimes.
To be honest, I feel like I would be more at ease if my wife wore the hijab, but I also understand that this is her decision and something she needs to come to on her own.
I’m struggling with my emotions, especially the anger and protectiveness I feel in these situations. I don’t want to react in a way that causes problems or goes against good character, but I also don't want my wife to expose her beauty.
Has anyone else experienced something similar? How do you deal with situations like these?
Any advice would be appreciated. Jazakum Allahu khairan