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u/StrikingExplorer4111

Image 1 — I’m constantly shamed and labeled as a creep on Reddit for asking questions about sexuality (in appropriate contexts)
Image 2 — I’m constantly shamed and labeled as a creep on Reddit for asking questions about sexuality (in appropriate contexts)
Image 3 — I’m constantly shamed and labeled as a creep on Reddit for asking questions about sexuality (in appropriate contexts)
▲ 33 r/malementalhealth

I’m constantly shamed and labeled as a creep on Reddit for asking questions about sexuality (in appropriate contexts)

What did I say wrong? The person says you should be open and honest with your “hopes and wants”. The context is dating, so it’s obvious and natural that people have sexual desires, among other things. So I asked how to be honest about that part. I genuinely don’t understand it, but would like to understand. What is wrong? Why am I labeled a creep? How can I be “honest” in direct communication if I am shamed for being honest in an anonymous Reddit comment?

The popular advice to be “open and honest” in this context seems misleading and insincere. What people actually mean is “be open and honest about all your needs and wants except the sexual ones, about which you can’t be open, though you should be honest in indirect ways (especially when you are not sure what the other person’s expectations are)”.

Also, Swedes/Scandinavians exaggerate it very much how “sexually liberal” and “open” they are. There’s nothing liberal or open about shaming a person who asks a good-faith question about sexuality in an appropriate context.

u/StrikingExplorer4111 — 3 days ago
▲ 0 r/malementalhealth

The distinction between "serious" and "casual" relationships is something that makes me avoid relationships at all

The very idea of "seriousness" in a relationship is something that literally scares me. I don't understand what people mean by it, but I feel it as something threatening. For me, "serious" feels synonymous with "pressure".

I feel like I'd better avoid "serious" relationships, so that I won't be guilty when I don't meet this expectation of "seriousness" (I don't know what to do to be "serious" enough).

I avoid "casual" relationships too, because I need a deep human connection, but when there is a deep human connection, people usually want "seriousness" (which I perceive as threat, pressure, obligations, risk to hurt another person).

So I avoid relationships at all.

I hate it that it can't be easy.

M, 42. Had only one relationship, which lasted three years and was deeply traumatizing.

reddit.com
u/StrikingExplorer4111 — 3 days ago
▲ 3 r/NoStupidQuestions

Why do people form relationships? What exactly is "a serious relationship"?

  1. Why exactly do people form relationships? Do they do it mostly for themselves, or for the other person, or both?

  2. What is the role of love in romantic relationships? Is it a necessary component of a serious relationship? Is love there from the very beginning, or does it develop later?

  3. What exactly is love in a romantic relationship? How is it different from other types of love (e.g. parent-child, friends, pets)? If you love your partner, could you describe this feeling? How is it different from your love for other people (children, parents, friends)?

  4. What is the principal difference between a romantic relationship and "friends with benefits"? Is this difference that in FWB people make it clear that it's temporary and don't have plans for the future? Or are they different also in other ways?

  5. What is the difference between a serious and an unserious relationship? What do people typically mean when they draw the line between them?

  6. What does it mean "to catch feelings"? For example, when people in a FWB arrangement say that one of them caught feelings, what exactly do they mean? Hadn't they already had certain feelings for each other? Are these feelings that they catch different from the feelings they already had qualitatively or quantitatively?

  7. How exactly are romantic feelings different from other types of feelings (e.g. friendly)? Is a romantic relationship something more than "close friends who are attractive to each other and have sex"? Is there another important component of a romantic relationship besides a) being attracted to each other on a personal level b) being attracted to each other on a physical level?

Feel free to answer any of these questions. Try to look at them as something to explain to an autistic person who wants to understand the basics of human interaction.

reddit.com
u/StrikingExplorer4111 — 3 days ago
▲ 2 r/sexuality

Help me understand the conception of casual sex. Why do people sleep with other people with whom they are attracted only physically, but not personally? And if they are attracted personally too, why do they limit their mutual activity to sex?

u/StrikingExplorer4111 — 4 days ago