u/StrawberryInTheBay

but I was told they don't keep track.

I fall down a memory hole thinking about "The wonder years" which had this in the intro song.

Being imperfect but still worth singing together with.

Just kick them under the refrigerator.
Soon it’ll be just water under the fridge.

Always loved this song. It hits even harder now.

Staring at screens.
Surrounded by noise.
Surrounded by silence.
Always seeking new distractions.

Not really connecting.

I am hurting. A lot.

I have not been able to move on.
You have. I could clearly see that.

I have been folded into, as you said, the little black box where you keep feelings.

In your poem, you wrote of the quiet gravity between us.

In the hush between our hands,
Your fear calls out, mine hides away.
Still, we orbit just the same,
Two hearts too loud
and quiet to stay.

I just wish we had the closure our relationship deserved.
And not just silence. And begging.

Our relationship deserved it. I deserved it.
You have your reasons, I'm sure.
And as much as I love you, I want you to know that it hurt me. A lot.

I asked you if this mattered to you but you did not even say that.

I deleted the chat but it burdens my soul.

All I have is this room.
And tears.
And memories of you.

I wish you happiness, joy and all the love in the world.
I hope you get to travel the world and hike in Madeira.
I hope you get to have the farm you wanted to live in.

I will always carry memories that are encoded into my heart.

Everything reminds me of you.

To cope and let go, I am told to take a deep breath, hold it for a few seconds, then exhale.
Ironically, even that reminds me of you.

The breathing expert.

🫰

I’d like to know how some people do it.

This compartmentalization.
This suppression of feelings.

Is it innate or learned?

If learned, can it be learned at any age?

I soared like Icarus,
reaching for love’s warmth.

The sun kept moving,
afraid to be touched.

I crashed.
The sun was too far to know.