I (22F) found out my boyfriend (25M) was cheating for our whole relationship, but has since stopped. He doesn’t know I know. Is it okay if I don’t confront him about it?
This is a long story, so I’ll try and make it as short as possible.
I am in law school. But prior to that, my boyfriend and I both were in our undergrad together where we met.
We go to a decent sized private college, but small enough that you can’t hide too much of what you do.
We both are outgoing, and enjoyed going out and partying with our friends. However, I always knew I would end up in law school.
I had much more to focus on, where his major gave him a lot more time to just enjoy being in college.
While I kept a lot of my going out to the weekends, he did it every night. I am not a jealous person by nature, so I was fine with that. I’ve always encouraged him to spend time with his friends.
The age difference though kept us from really knowing the same group of people at school.
The last year of his undergrad, and up until a few weeks ago, I’ve known he’s been cheating on me. People would reach out, girls through Instagram mostly. I saw Snapchat messages that confirmed it on his phone.
The worst of it was him explaining to a girl that I wasn’t his type. I’m short. I have strawberry blonde hair. Freckles.
I’ve ran two full marathons, I workout 4-5 times a week, eat well, but even though I felt I physically looked good—it wasn’t enough.
Pretty much every girl has had dark hair, dark skin and dark eyes. Most, not all.
I think I spent so much time saying it’s college and he’s not made a commitment to me, and we’re just dating and maybe I could just be more of what he wanted and he’d see enough in me that he’d stop. I know that isn’t how it works, but in the moment it made sense.
Since, I know it’s stopped. His closest friend who had told me about it before said he’s really worked to stop it. I haven’t seen anything in awhile.
A group of couples and us, which are all friends of his, recently got back from a cabin trip we took. They told me he’s talking about proposing.
One of the couples who are aware of what’s gone on, asked me what I thought. They couldn’t believe I’ve not confronted him. That I would even consider saying yes without resolving this.
I just feel like if I open this, that it’ll send me back into the dark space of how I felt about myself again. Him being interested again has gave me confidence again. It’s been good. I’ve been happy.
Can I let this go if it’s best for me?