u/Small-Addition-6497

I've basically been a sahm or pregnant since 2021 so I haven't had a break really. My hormones have always been out of whack or it's been PPD. anyhow, I can't recall when it hit but it did after having my c-section daughter in 10/2024. there's this hollow loneliness inside of me. I love my kids to death and I love my husband. is it because I've lost sense of independence/self by kind of being isolated from public for so long? can any other mom's relate? and even when I do go out in public, I feel out of place. I feel like singing that yellowcard lyric "and even though you're next to me I still feel so alone" allllll the time

My husband and I are both 40, with two kids, a 4 year old boy and 2 year old little girl. I'm a sahm, he teaches 8-3.

Let's start with my first "complaint" as he calls it of the day. He 100% of the time gets dressed in the closet and exits without turning the light off. Because I always go back after he leaves and have to turn it off. I'm taking care of stuff outside the room for my kid to go to school in the living room/kitchen anyhow and I'm not going back in the closet. I wake up way before him. I've already told him a milli a milli a milli times before to turn it offffffff. Bad habit he says. How many times should I have to keep reminding this guy before he gets it?!

My second "complaint." He 80% of the time doesn't flush the toilet with his pee in it. His excuse is when he flushes it, he'll wake people up. Ummmm how do you think I can do it then sir?! Our kids sleep in our room. Anyhow, so since I have reminded him and reminded him and reminded him before and he still doesn't get it, I'm so tired of saying please like I'm begging. I'm like FLUSH YOUR PEE DOWN TOILET. YOU WILL NOT WAKE ANYONE UP. He says well when they do, you're taking care of them. Oh honey, don't threaten me with a good time.

My occurring complaints is stuff like he'll hear our little girl coughing up a lung and I have the one to be like BABE CAN YOU GIVE HER COUGH SYRUP and of course I have to tell him where it is. Even though he knows where it is. He asks where things are before he even looks. Which I'm sick of too. I'm the primary one who has to check their diapers. And be like babe can you change them. He never asks what the kids are going to have for dinner or barely let alone fix it. Apparently, if I want to "spend time" with him, I have to be the one to say hey babe let's watch so n so. Because God forbid he would come over, sit next to me, and be like hey let's watch so n so. That for sure feels like "my alone time counts way more than time I spend with you." I have to ask so how did our son's day go if he picks him up from school, he won't just volunteer the information. I'm going to have to ask so when is the dishwasher going to be fixed cuz ya know I can't do my sah laundry without it. My girl is currently sitting under his computer chair. You think he's acknowledging her? And it's this way all week folks. I've been dampered when he says we're going to watch a movie, I put it on, and then I just sit there waiting and waiting and waiting and don't get acknowledgement. When he comes home, he's consumed by his damn computer game if he doesn't have something due for college. I don't CARE if you play a computer game and no I'm not trying to be a ruling wife by telling you you can't enjoy something but GOD be AWARE of time and that your FAMILY is in the house! it's sad really. It makes me sad. I love my kids but I'm the one left interacting with them in the living room and in the house from like 6-9 while they play and watch TV and you're over there in your little corner playing a computer game. Today, he came home and got out a puzzle for our son to help him put it together. Never seen something like that. He probably thinks that's "just enough" too to count as quality time spent together. Ten minutes of putting together a puzzle. And my son is pouring juice on the floor and I'm going to have to be the one to clean it up because he has his noise canceling headphones on. His number one priority isn't this house or his family. It's his alone time. And that pisses me off so bad. He thinks providing money is enough. And two hours on a Saturday at Disney Springs should be enough to suffice for the whole weekend.

tl;dr

Guys and girls, I really don't know how much more I can take. Do I have to spell it out for him? Do you need a manual for every little thing? He closes the door to our bedroom this morning and I say babe, I'm gonna go back in there. Then he's like see what I mean am I supposed to close the door or not. Please hand me some advice, as I would greatly appreciate it. We've been married 8 years